Why do boys always say they don't love if they don't love them?

I saw a group of screenshots on Weibo yesterday, showing the chat records of nine couples on the day they were together and the day they broke up.

inside, at first both sides are so sweet that they are greasy, but in the end they are all bitterly cold, without exception.

this reminds me of the question that many couples often ask after they break up: "Why did he suddenly stop loving him when he said he didn't love him when he was still together two days ago?"

when I think of this, the first thing that comes to mind is Lao Huang.

since last semester, I have known that there is a girl who has been chasing Lao Huang crazily, and what I admire most about her is that she will get up at 7 o'clock and make breakfast at 7 o'clock, whether she has morning classes or not, and then send her halfway across the school to Lao Huang's place.

every time she comes to the gate of our class, someone will stab Lao Huang and say, "Hey, here comes your Meituan takeout again."

at this time Lao Huang will smile and go out to pick up breakfast and occasionally share it with the front and back tables.

at that time, I felt in my heart that Lao Huang didn't like that girl, but just enjoyed her kindness to herself all the time.

I don't think you will believe that anyone would laugh when their favorite girl is called "Meituan takeout" and share her hard-cooked breakfast with others.

however, one day Lao Huang suddenly told me that he was with that girl, and he spoke first, and the news directly choked me several mouthfuls of Coke. In the days after

, Lao Huang's breakfast became more and more abundant, as did the amount of dog food sprinkled in moments.

people are so shameless when they fall in love.

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it was not until the night before last when I was chatting in the dormitory that I learned a big secret from Lao Huang, who told me, "actually, I don't like my girlfriend at all."

Lao Huang told me that he was with that girl simply because they both didn't go back to school after a department party and something indescribable happened when they spent the night out.

"there's really nothing I can do about it. If I don't spend time with her, I'll be labeled as a scumbag and spray it half to death." Lao Huang said helplessly, and then seemed to be afraid of being scolded by me, and hastened to add: "in fact, she is really nice."

although Lao Huang is my roommate, I still feel sorry for that girl. I always feel that the day they break up, she will ask someone, "Why did he suddenly stop loving him when he said he didn't love?"

although it is difficult to accept, it is true that two people can be together for many reasons, perhaps moved, reputation, loneliness, or sex, and falling in love is not the only necessary and absolute condition.

it doesn't matter if you suddenly don't love, sometimes it's just because there is no love in the first place.

of course, there will be people who love each other from the beginning.

for example, my high school classmate Xiao Bei chased Chen Qi for three years. As a result, they broke up in less than three months, which surprised everyone.

on the day of the breakup, Chen Qi kept shouting abuse, tearfully complaining to everyone about Xiaobei, saying that he didn't cherish him when he got him, and that he was so determined. He was really a cold scumbag.

everyone keeps giving Chen Qi paper towels to wipe her tears, but in fact, I know that Xiao Bei is actually as miserable as she is.

Chen Qi is in love for the first time. Like many girls, she always misunderstands the meaning of love and regards it as a kind of control and possession.

for example, she goes through Xiaobei's mobile phone and chat records almost every day, and likes to delete friends of the opposite sex who she thinks are "problematic." in the end, only his mother and Chen Qi are left in Xiaobei's Wechat.

for example, she knows that Xiao Bei will always coax her, so she will drop a "break up" every time she is unhappy, waiting for Xiao Bei to keep a low profile to please herself, before contentedly "forgiving" Xiao Bei.

in fact, in my opinion, she doesn't know what true love should be, so she can only turn her love into those poisonous official account instructions.

and Xiaobei, every time in the face of such a thing, he pushed his bottom line back, and every time he pushed it, he secretly felt sad.

he complained to me many times before: "it's actually too hard to be with her, but I've liked her for so long that I don't want to break up."

but I know that the one who doesn't break up in order to "don't want to" will eventually break up.

because the love between two people is like a bucket of water, each time it hurts each other, it is to scoop out a spoonful of water, leaving nothing but indifference.

No matter how strong the love is, it will be exhausted one day.

coupled with the fact that boys usually don't cry, play small temper, don't act coquettish and wait for someone to coax them, or even show their sadness, they can only hold on until they can't hold on.

so their pain and patience in this relationship have never been seen, just like the cracks under the dam that are gradually widened by erosion, only the moment it collapses and breaks.

do you know that the day I broke up with Chen Qi, I saw the word "relief" in Xiao Bei's eyes.

so, in fact, there has never been a sudden "say you don't love, you don't love", only "never loved" and "love is slowly worn out".

I think the reason why they always feel that their partner becomes unloved in an instant, maybe it's because they attach too much importance to the relationship.

attach importance to, from the moment they are together, that the other person's feelings for them are incomparably sincere;

attach importance to the fact that no matter how much he has changed, as long as he doesn't break upAt that moment, I believe that the other person still loves me deeply;

I even pay attention to the fact that some of my efforts are too strong.

so until the day each other left, they had never been psychologically prepared, let alone taken any precautions.

people always say it takes courage to love someone, but I think it takes more courage to accept that the other person no longer loves him or herself, or even never loved him.

good night.