Those who love others will always love them; those who respect others will always respect them.
writer Wu Jun once told his students:
"in this life, one should avoid three things: the noble spirit in front of the person, the hostility behind the person, and the pride of the person."
A mature and long-term relationship is inseparable from the discretion of being a human being.
people with real self-cultivation are not dazzling in front of people, not slanderous after people, and not proud of people.
people don't show off in front of others
there is a plot in Friends that touches me deeply.
Chandler, who has just been promoted, has prepared a valuable necklace as a gift for Monica, who is going to celebrate her birthday.
as he approached Monica's apartment, he learned that Monica had been fired by the company the day before.
Chandler immediately put away the necklace and sent a blank tape in which Monica's favorite music was recorded.
friends don't understand, isn't it a waste to buy such an expensive necklace without giving it away?
it is only natural to share joy, but once it is over, it becomes a show-off.
showing off is a dazzling light that illuminates yourself and often burns others.
as Carnegie once said:
"when you show your edge, the people around you stand in the shadow."
in 1848, Sutter, a Swiss, discovered a gold mine on his farm.
he immediately summoned his family and warned them not to make public.
Sutter's wife thought that she had to be proud because she had been poor for many years.
she wrote to her friends in her hometown, bragging about how gold mines made her rich, and carried a few fine grains of gold in the envelope.
when my needy friends received the letter, they were so unbalanced that they set off to look for gold.
the team of Nuggets continues to grow, and countless people flock to Sutter's estate.
the vast farm was dug up in just a few days.
it was too late for Sutter's wife to repent.
when the heap comes from the shore, the current will be turbulent; if the action is higher than man, the crowd will not.
elevating yourself when others are unhappy will only lead to disgust and suspicion.
Feng Jicai said a paragraph:
Take time to get in and look at the dazzling collection of red and white wedding dress plus size. Enjoy the best online shopping experience ever, at your fingertips.
"keeping a low profile is not marginalization, let alone incompetence.
get but not show, expensive but not dazzling, is a kind of high EQ performance, but also a kind of leisurely state.
Don't slander people
Douban has a hot topic: "talk about what you learned when you entered society."
one comment gave more than ten thousand likes:
"never speak ill of a person behind his back, because eventually it will reach that person's ear."
even if not, people will alienate you, and the people who listen to you don't want to be the object of your discussion one day. "
the self-cultivation of dealing with others is to know how to keep your mouth shut on any occasion.
there is no need to talk about other people's affairs; other people's rights and wrongs are not qualified to be judged.
A person who always focuses on others will not be welcome wherever he goes.
Redalio, founder of the Bridge Water Foundation, shared such a story.
Dario recruited a top student who graduated from the University of Chicago and had high hopes for him.
after only a few days on the job, the employee thought that the department manager was incompetent.
he dared not point out the shortcomings of the manager face to face, so he often complained to his colleagues in private.
once at lunch, the employee caught a glimpse of Dalio sitting not far away.
he immediately mentioned some of the manager's recent mistakes in the project and deliberately turned up his voice.
I want Dalio to realize that the department manager is not a match "inadvertently".
as a result, Dario turned a deaf ear to his discussion and fired him at the end of his internship.
in the face of the employee's query, Dalio solemnly told him:
"when you get to the new company, remember, if there's something you think you can't say in front of others, never say it."
there is a saying that it is impolite to say bad things to your face and bad words behind your back.
all interactions are mutual. If you don't like to be talked about behind your back, why bother to become a person you hate?
your self-cultivation and level are hidden in the limits of your speech.
when something happens, you don't comment on it, and you don't talk about it. This is not only a good reputation for others, but also a word-of-mouth.
people are not proud
Ma Yifu, a master of Confucianism, said, "I have known the world, but I still feel sorry for the green vegetation."
the most rare practice for a man is that he has seen the vast expanse of heaven and earth and is still considerate of inferiority and weakness.
Flaubert once saw a short story published by a new writer in a newspaper.
he appreciated the idea and style of the novel so much that he took the initiative to contact the author.
the writer immediately invited Flaubert to his home, poured tea for him enthusiastically, and yelled at the old servant to bring his manuscript.
unexpectedly, because the floor was slippery, the old servant accidentally fell and the manuscripts were scattered all over the floor.
the writer, who had just been polite, immediately jumped up from the sofa and scolded the old servant trembling all over.
for the next two hours, the writer kept switching between the smiling face in the face of Flaubert and the angry face of the old servant.
when Flaubert was about to leave, the writer thoughtLet him take away the unfinished manuscripts.
the old servant is trembling to tidy up.
the writer stopped and said, "stop, do you want to spoil my article again?"
he snatched the manuscript from the rough hand of the old servant and respectfully handed it to Flaubert.
Flaubert pushed the manuscript back to him, waved his hand and said, "Don't read it anymore. I already understand the soul behind these words."
whether a person's soul is noble or not depends not on his upward ingratiation, but on his downward mercy.
when giving a speech to college students, actor Chen Daoming said this paragraph:
"those who go up the mountain, don't look down on those who go down the mountain, because others have seen the scenery, but you are still at the bottom of the mountain.
people on the mountain, don't look down on the people at the bottom of the mountain, you may climb over your head one day. "
people encounter twists and turns in their lives, and the peak of your life today may be a stepping stone for others tomorrow.
the shallowest thing is that if you are above others, you will be defiant.
the arrogance of every time you gain power is digging a hole for yourself in the future.
only by being modest and gentle from the bottom of your heart can you gain lasting respect.
I agree with one sentence very much:
"it is an everlasting etiquette to be kind to others and to be considerate to yourself and others."
those who love others will always love them; those who respect others will always respect them.
Life is a mirror, which is what you are.
, take self-cultivation rooted in your heart, when you learn to understand the world, the world will be gentle to you.