When people reach middle age, it is a disaster for brothers and sisters to get too close.

once read a fable: Once upon a time there was a group of hedgehogs meeting together for the winter, so they were going to hug each other to keep warm. If you hug too tightly, the thorns on your body will hurt each other, and if you are too far away, you will not be able to snuggle up to keep warm. So they can only keep trying to get close, get hurt, spread out, get closer, get hurt. In this way, they tried again and again, and finally found a distance that neither hurt their companions nor felt cold. This phenomenon is called "hedgehog rule". In fact, the hedgehog law says that the distance between people needs to master a "degree". Especially between brothers and sisters, even if the relationship is close, there are corners that do not want to be set foot in by others. Therefore, keep in mind that the relationship with it is too close, otherwise it will be a disaster. If you communicate too frequently, conflicts will break out. Lu Yao once said: "when I was a child, I used to regard relatives as beautiful and important. When I grew up and began to live independently, I learned that kinship is often vulgar, unable to touch each other, and roll my eyes without light. Even the biggest difficulties in your life are often caused by relatives. " I feel the same way. The TV series "everything is fine" describes such a story. Su Mingyu's uncle was a gluttonous and lazy man, who lived on the support of Su Mingyu's mother from childhood to childhood, so the relationship between the two families was very close. Once Su Mingcheng wanted to make an investment and lent his uncle 30,000 yuan, saying that he would pay a dividend after making money, but this money was the money he was going to give his son to go to school, but in order to share the dividend, he still borrowed the money. Later, my uncle learned that Su Mingcheng's investment failed and was unable to repay it, so a company of three made a big fuss about Su Mingcheng. While everyone was pushing and shoving, his son hit his head on the head and scraped his scalp. From then on, my uncle's family fell in love with the Su family. The three of them forcibly moved into Su Daqiang's new home, claiming that they would never leave until they gave 100000, which made Su Daqiang's family jump. It was not until Su Mingyu took out her mother's account book that she found that her mother had secretly donated 200000 yuan to her uncle over the years. Su Mingyu said that when his uncle will pay off 200000 yuan and when he will pay 100000 of the tuition fees of various states, otherwise he will sue his uncle in a lawsuit. As soon as my uncle's family heard that they were unreasonable, they ran away in disappointment. The farce of the Su family has alerted many people that it is not necessarily a good thing to have too much involvement with relatives. Always think that the relationship is close and talkative, but do not realize that confusion over things large and small will not only not add friendship to each other, but will intensify contradictions and lead to the breakdown of the relationship. After getting married, it is best for brothers and sisters to keep a bowl of soup apart. If you get too close, you will make life a feather; if you go too far, the bond between you will be broken. Maintain a proper sense of size, not excessive contact, not only independent of each other, but also not cold and distant, the relationship can be warm and long-term. If you communicate too frequently, the comparison will increase. Some people say: life is tired, a small half comes from survival, and a small half comes from comparison. I think so. When I was a child, I always heard others say that the two brothers were as good as wearing a pair of trousers, and that the brothers and sisters loved each other and were carefree. When you grow up, when you have your own family, the relationship is no longer pure, and the comparison increases with it. If you don't keep a proper distance, it will only add to your troubles. In the TV series "Xiao she de", Nan Li and Tian Yulan are such sisters. Nan Li's father and Tian Yulan's mother married halfway. Tian Yulan was brought to Nan Li's house only after her mother's second marriage. As the father of the two, Nan Jianlong was busy inviting the children home for dinner at the weekend. Come and go, Tian Yulan and Nanli, the enemy sisters, not only work together every day, but also go back to their father's house for a party every week. The two sisters are involved in things big and small every day, and the intersection is getting closer and closer. But the closer you get, the more problems there will be. Seeing that she is not as good as Nanli, Tian Yulan's heart becomes more and more unbalanced. As a result, everywhere I want to compete with Nanli. This is not, because Tian Yulan's son's grades are good, so she always takes her child to find a sense of superiority in Nan Li. In a reunion dinner, Tian Yulan staged "Family Banquet comparison" to reflect the reality of the practice field. Tian Yulan first opened a Versailles-style speech. His son Yan Ziyou ranks first in every exam and ranks firmly in the top three in the school rankings. he studies very hard and does not have to worry about himself at all, which makes other parents envy and hate. After that, I didn't forget to ask, "how are Huanhuan's recent achievements?" Because Nanli pays attention to quality education, Huanhuan's results have always been very ordinary. It is not enough to win the result alone, and the talent should be compared well. Tian Yulan also lets Ziyou perform his talent. I thought it was a normal piano performance, but I didn't expect it to recite pi, and it was memorized to more than 2000 people, which made everyone else present give a thumbs up. Tian Yulan turned around and asked about the back of the party? Huanhuan said he would only recite to 3.1415926, and Tian Yulan smiled proudly: "you girls don't have to work so hard." There are words in these words, which are meaningful and embarrassing to Nanli's face. Even the time to eat fruit after dinner, Tian Yulan also did not let go, Ziyou took a fruit, Tian Yulan asked the English word of the fruit, in order to highlight Ziyou's excellence. In a short time of a meal, Tian Yulan used her child to show off three times in front of Nanli because of her heart of comparison. It is conceivable that the relationship between Nanli and Tian Yulan is tit-for-tat. The more familiar people are, the more likely they are to compare and envy. If the brothers and sisters walk too much and the distance is too close, they will inevitably keep up with each other. Over the past few years, if they don't look at each other, they will only lose both sides and cool the relationship. So keep a certain distance in order to leave a beautiful space for each other. Too frequent contacts, money entanglement As the saying goes: brothers, don't share wealth, share wealth. In life, we can often see whose brothers turn against each other for money, and whose relatives fall out over money. In the end, the source is too frequent communication, no sense of boundaries. Tell a story about yourself. As far as I can remember, the neighbors, Grandma Liu and her family have always been right and wrong.There is often a big loving family, she has three children, each of whom is very filial, she comes to see her with nothing to do, which is the envy of the old people in the community. One day, the neighborhood committee said that the house would be demolished, and in the face of a huge amount of demolition money, the extended family, which was originally dear to each other, suddenly blew up the nest. In the face of this huge sum, the three brothers and sisters have made no secret of their greed. But the thorny problem at the moment is that the old house is about to be demolished, and the new house is still out of reach, so Grandma Liu's residence has become a problem. After consultation, the brothers and sisters decided to take turns to support their parents. Seeing that her children were so filial, Grandma Liu happily prepared for her old age, but this was the beginning of her troubles. No matter where Grandma Liu went, her children racked their brains to be filial to them, while crazily hinting that she would give her more property. What I thought was a good day, but it turned into a struggle for money. Granny Liu was in a dilemma and wept secretly. Finally, in line with the principle of fairness, Granny Liu divided the demolition money into four parts, one for each of the three children, and left a share of her own pension money. Unexpectedly, the three brothers and sisters refused to share with each other, and they all felt that they were more filial to their parents and should get more money. In the end, the three brothers and sisters turned against each other for money and even got into a fight, and none of them paid any attention to each other. As the saying goes, "people die for wealth, birds die for food." It is easy to get lost in front of money, especially between brothers and sisters, usually too close, the more disputes over money, the slightest improper arrangement will lead to unnecessary quarrels. Therefore, whether it is between parents and children, or between brothers and sisters, the relationship can be close, and money must be sorted out. Getting even with brothers is not only an old saying, but also a truth. Only by not involving money disputes and keeping a proper balance in communication can we promote the healthy development of a family. ▽ There is a question on Zhihu: why do brothers and sisters suddenly stop moving after their parents have left? There is a very heart-piercing reply: "parents are here, home is there, and when parents go, their children become rootless trees, and there is no home in this world. And brothers and sisters also become relatives, each has their own things to be busy, but also less reason to get together, less contact, feelings will fade. " You know, relatives, pay attention to the back and forth, but pay more attention to the degree of exchanges. The relationship has faded, at least there is affection, but the communication is too close, there are many contradictions, and even affection no longer exists, leaving only the regret that they do not communicate with each other. Life has a ruler, boundaries have a degree, there is a distance to have respect, family affection can be beautiful and long-term. Encourage each other!

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