Upbringing can't be faked.
Upbringing sounds great, but what you do is actually a small thing.
DJ00123987 The United States has done a very interesting experiment. The experimenter installed a camera on a street corner. Everyone who walks by is quiet and elegant, and even picks up the rubbish on the ground. But when the surveillance was taken away, there was a lot of rubbish on the roadside and street corners. There is a saying: "I stood with my back to the sun so that no one could see the shadow behind me." Everyone in front of people, will habitually put away their own flawed side, only show their own beauty. But see the details of self-cultivation. One cannot pretend to have a real upbringing. It is not only the restraint in front of people, but also the self-discipline after people. Every detail of life is actually a reflection of upbringing. I once saw a piece of news. In a bookstore in Shenzhen, a well-dressed wife yelled at a little girl for more than ten minutes. What on earth happened that made the lady so angry? It turned out that it was the wife who brought the children to the bookstore, but the children were so noisy that they affected the reading of the people around them. A little girl was writing a paper and was annoyed by the noise, so she whispered a few reminders. The lady was furious and slapped the table and scolded the little girl for meddling. He also showed off that his husband was an associate professor and his clothes were famous brands, which the little girl could not catch up with. This news reminds me of a "Duck effect" in psychology, which means that people with lower quality are more likely to have an inexplicable sense of superiority. Truly elegant people never show off their superiority. they are low-key, modest, gentle and powerful. There is a Zhuangnu in Taiwan who is known as the "saint of ci." he wrote more than 80% of Teresa Teng's works. When a reporter interviewed him and wanted to flatter him, he said, "without you, there would be no Teresa Teng. You are her best teacher." Zhuangnu shook his head again and again: "Teresa Teng's success is the result of her own efforts. If other people wrote songs for her, she would have succeeded, too. Without her, there would be no Zhuangnu. I'm just a lyricist. I don't know how to sing and can't be her teacher. " People with a rich heart never write a sense of superiority on their face. They don't show off what they have achieved, what kind of life they live, and what kind of people they have seen. Because they don't need to elevate themselves by belittling others. J K Rowling, author of Harry Potter, once said: "A person's real upbringing depends not on how he treats people who are higher than himself, but on how he treats people who are lower than himself." I think so. When facing superiors and dignitaries, a person's attitude may be very good, because it is related to his interests. And when a person, whether upward or downward, can be gentle and courteous, is really noble. Zhihu netizens @ Lu Hanbing Once told a story about her. Once, she went to the home of a colleague. She is the head of the department and that colleague is her subordinate. My colleague hired a babysitter, but the babysitter was old and had some inconvenience. Colleagues laughed and chatted with her, while from time to time instructed the old nanny to do this and that, the old babysitter was busy, looking frightened. At parting, an accident occurred, so that Lu Hanbing saw another face of her colleague. After a colleague found that the glass table was wet with fruit, the old babysitter did not scrub with toothpaste as she asked. He flew into a rage and said viciously, "wipe it with toothpaste three times!" Until you can see your shadow! " The old babysitter brought toothpaste from the bathroom, but accidentally knocked over the washbasin and tripped to the ground. The colleague did not even move his eyelids, turned his head and smiled to bid farewell to Lu Hanbing. At that moment, Lu Hanbing shivered and alienated her from then on. As a writer said, "your attitude towards the weak is your upbringing." A well-bred person is not proud at the top and not humble at the bottom. Will not feel at ease to instruct the cleaning aunt, will not dictate to the takeout brother, will not treat people who are not as good as themselves. But with compassion, respect, understanding and fraternity from the bottom of your heart. Only such a person can gain the long-term favor and trust of others. The writer Yu Qiuyu lived in Germany for a short time. He found a house, felt very good, and planned to sign a contract with the landlord. But the old man temporarily stopped him: "you haven't lived yet, you don't know whether it's good or bad, sign a trial contract first, and then decide whether to rent a long time after you have had the experience." Yu Qiuyu signed a short contract for five days. Five days later, Yu Qiuyu was very satisfied and was ready to sign a long-term contract with the old man. Accidentally, he broke a glass and hastened to call the old man to apologize. The old man said magnanimously, "never mind, you didn't mean to. I'll bring a new one tomorrow." The next day, as soon as the old man entered the door, he asked where the cup was. Yu Qiuyu pointed to the garbage bag at the door and said it was there. After looking through the garbage bag, the old man said gloomily, "the house will not be rented to you." Yu Qiuyu was surprised: "did I break the cup and upset you?" The old man said, "No, because there is no one else in your heart." Immediately, the old man poured out the things in the garbage bag, collected the pieces of glass one by one, put them in a box, and wrote on the outside with a pen: "this is glass, dangerous!" Yu Qiuyu watched, blushing for a moment. What is upbringing? This is upbringing. No matter what you do, you always think of the people around you. When throwing rubbish, think about the convenience of the garbage collector. When driving on a rainy day, I wonder if the stagnant water will spill on the people by the side of the road. When entering the gate, I wonder if I will bump into the person behind me. A good upbringing is not difficult. Putting yourself in others' shoes and comparing one's heart to heart is an excellent practice. I especially like what Mr. GE once said: "the real upbringing is not to look out, but to look in. Look at yourself, have requirements for yourself, and then imperceptibly turn this requirement into the criterion of being a man and doing things. " Upbringing sounds great, but what you do is actually a small thing. Below I write some of the details reflected in daily life, of course, can not be comprehensive, where you want to write. 1. Respect other people's differences, even if you don't understand their behavior at all. two。 With others, don't always talk about your unique side and restrain your sense of superiority. 3. Don't pry into other people's private affairs, let alone publicize them everywhere. 4. Don't be too emotional when dealing with people, and don't put on a bad face when you are unhappy. 5. If you ask someone a question and they don't answer you, don't ask the bottom of the casserole. 6. Respect different preferences and don't judge what others like. No matter how good your taste is, it's your own. 7. When communicating with people, don't interrupt others at will, don't be expressionless all the time, don't keep your eyes wandering. 8. Pay attention to maintain social distance, do not casually pat people on the shoulder, do not be too close to other people's body. 9. Be sure to reply to Wechat or text messages sent to you. It's okay to be a little later. 10. When waiters, couriers and takeouts provide services for you, please say thank you.
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