The top self-cultivation of adults: hide words from everyone, keep calm in case of trouble, and keep your heart in the world.

The top self-cultivation of adults: hide words from everyone, keep calm in case of trouble, and keep your heart in the world.

A man's quality of life is hidden in his words and deeds.

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"Meditations" says:

"Don't talk in disorder, don't be restless in doing things, and don't be restless in the soul, so that life can be smooth and worry-free."

A person's quality of life is hidden in his words and deeds.

do not speak casually, act impatiently, and be not capricious, so that you can be the real controller of your life, and you will feel more and more comfortable.

the top accomplishment of an adult is to hide his words, keep calm, and keep his heart.

hide words to everyone

as the old saying goes, "you don't have to say everything to know people, leaving three points of leeway for people."

if you say too much, you will lose. Disaster comes out of the mouth, and if you speak without discretion, it is easy to lead to disaster without arrogance.

such a story is recorded in the Book of Neng Gaizhai written by Wu Zeng in the Southern Song Dynasty.

in the second year of Xiangfu, 25-year-old Liu Yong took part in the etiquette exam. He was confident that he would win the first place in the exam.

originally this is not a big deal. Accept this result, prepare with peace of mind, and try to pass the next exam.

however, Liu Yong was not convinced. He told everyone that I didn't like the false reputation of fame and fortune at all.

he also wrote the song "Crane rising to the sky", in which he expressed his disdain for fame and fame.

Liu Yong's words and words soon spread, and even the emperor heard of them.

so with a stroke of the pen, his name was crossed out.

in fact, Liu Yong's talent is unparalleled. He could have made great achievements in officialdom, but he ruined his career because of a moment of indignation.

as the saying goes, "one word can bring blessing, one word can attract misfortune."

in life, there are times when we can't control our mouths, complain casually in life, and make jokes with people.

the result often inadvertently arouses the dissatisfaction of others, arouses resentment of others, and finally brings disaster to oneself.

as Zhu Ziqing said in Silence: "your words should be like the stars of the night, not like New Year's Eve's firecrackers. Who wants firecrackers that last all night?"

speaking is an instinct, while knowing how to speak properly is an ability.

only by holding back our desire for tongues can we be able to live like a fish in water.

in life, hide your desire for expression, talk less, do more, and move forward quietly in a low-key and calm manner.

calm down when something happens

there is a hot question on Zhihu: "what ability is important, but most people don't?"

one of the highly praised answers is: "the ability to restore calm quickly in case of trouble."

Life is always full of changes, and the plan is always unable to catch up with the change. Only when things go wrong, can we see the moves and be good at it.

I have read such a story.

during the reign of Emperor Wenzong of the Tang Dynasty, Pei du was appointed Zhongshu Ling and was in charge of Dayin.

one night, he was watching the opera performance with his guests.

suddenly there is a

subordinate officials

pushed the door in, looked flustered and trembled and said to him, "No, something big has happened, my Lord, the official seal is missing!"

officials lose their seals, just like soldiers lose their guns, which is very serious.

after listening to this, Pei du picked up the cup and took a sip of tea and said faintly, "I see. You go back first and keep quiet about this."

turning around, Pei du continued to greet the guests to the theatre as if nothing had happened.

although the guests are secretly worried about him, they can't say anything.

in the middle of the night, the official pushed the door again and said excitedly to Pei du, "my Lord, the official seal is suddenly back!"

Pei du still looked indifferent, nodded and said "I know" and continued to enjoy music and watch the play with the guests until he broke up happily.

later, someone asked him: "the loss of official seal, the situation is very urgent, subordinates report to you, why are you not in a hurry to find, do not let people publicize it?"

Pei du smiled and said:

"this is a small official secretly taking the official seal out to write the deed coupon, which will be put back in the same place after use."

if the news leaks out, or if the pursuit is too hasty, they may destroy the official seal and never get it back.


after hearing this, people admired Pei du's calmness and calmness.

his subordinates are also in deep awe of him.

in life, we always encounter many things, big and small.

in many cases, the matter itself is not serious, and your panic will aggravate the situation.

the more anxious you are to sort things out, the more confused you will be and get things out of hand.

it is said in the New Edition of Zhaode: "when the water is quiet, the image is clear, and if the mind is quiet, it is wise."

when you don't panic, you can stabilize yourself and face everything calmly.

you will find that most of the problems encountered in life have their own contingency plans.

keep your heart in the world

Mencius said, 'people can do what they don't do, and then they can do something.'

what must one first know if one wants to make a difference?What can be done and what can't be done.

in dealing with the world, only by adhering to the principles can we keep the boundaries of life.

the first thing is that when Zeng Guofan was governor of Liangjiang, a county magistrate sent him an authentic painting of Wang Xizhi.

at that time, many people knew that Zeng Guofan loved collecting calligraphy and painting all his life.

and Wang Xizhi's ink treasure is priceless to those who love calligraphy.

Zeng Guofan took this picture, watched it and said, "the best thing in the world, don't dare to take it rashly."

so the police called the county magistrate back and returned the calligraphy.

the second thing: in the four years of Tongzhi, Rong Hong was appointed to purchase machines abroad on the recommendation of Zeng Guofan.

when he came back, in order to thank him for his kindness, Rong Hong took a gift to visit Zengfu.

"three years of Qing Zhifu, 100,000 Snow Silver" is a true portrayal of the officials of the Qing Dynasty at that time.

but Zeng Guofan has been an official for several decades, but his family does not have much property. His son Zeng Jihong sees a doctor for his family and even needs to borrow money.

Zeng Guofan lived in awe all his life, kept a clear mind, and acted in a well-behaved manner.

the reason why people are human is because of the word "principle".

the attitude of adhering to principles determines the height of one's life.

as it is said in the Zhuzi category:

"if you have one heart, everything will be right; if your heart is not right, nothing will be right."

the heart is not disturbed, everything is safe, and happiness follows.

living in the world, do things in a down-to-earth manner and be a magnanimous man.

stick to the inner principles, maintain a good character, and eventually be able to bear virtue and achieve something.

there is a line in the Grandmaster:

"when making soup, we should pay attention to the heat. If the heat is not there, it is difficult to adjust. When the heat is over, things will be scorched."


mastering heat is not only the way of cooking, but also the way of dealing with people.

speak wisely, do things without panic, and have principles in order to make others comfortable and yourself comfortable.

, speak with a ruler, guard against arrogance and rashness, abide by the original intention, and firmly take every step of life.