The truth is told to yourself, not imposed on others.
DJ00123987 There was a hot topic on Weibo: what is the most annoying way to communicate? One of the most frequently mentioned points is that it is easy to be reasonable. You will find that those who like to be teachers and like to be reasonable in life are often unpopular. The lower a person's EQ, the more he likes to be reasonable. Be reasonable Why not tell a story? It is said that as long as an Apple manager goes to the position of vice president, Jobs will tell that person a story about the cleaner. On one occasion, Jobs found that the trash can in the office had not been cleaned, and asked the cleaner to ask why. The cleaner explained aggrieved that the locks had been changed in the office, and she didn't get the new key, so she couldn't go into the office to clean up the garbage after Jobs got off work. After listening to this, Jobs told the cleaner, "I see. It's not your fault." Every time he tells the story of the cleaner, Jobs asks the new vice president, "do you think the cleaner's explanation for not cleaning the office is reasonable?" Every vice president thinks it is very reasonable. Jobs would go on to say: "if there is something wrong with the product that a vice president is in charge of, and the vice president, like the cleaner, gives a reasonable explanation, such as insufficient manpower and uncooperative partners, will I be satisfied?" At this point, Jobs suddenly began to get serious: "when you are a cleaner, there is no problem if you find a reason for not doing a good job. However, when you rise from a cleaner to CEO, once you have passed a certain point, it no longer makes sense to make excuses for something that has not been done well. Because you are fully responsible for this matter, no matter how reasonable the objective reason, can not cover up your dereliction of duty. The turning point in the promotion of this position is the level of vice president. " Instead of being reasonable at first, Jobs first told a story, which is a kind of emotional intelligence. The writer Shuimuran said: "storytelling is like a privilege. Whoever has the ability to tell a story will have the right to speak." The smartest behavior in the world is to influence others through stories. Good parents. Be less reasonable and set more examples Rousseau once said: "the three most useless methods of education in the world are: to be reasonable, to lose your temper, and to be deliberately moved." Parents with high EQ know more about teaching by words and deeds than preaching. Some time ago, Tsinghua University began to send out college entrance examination notices one after another, followed by an all-English promotional video. The leading actor is Chen Yixian, who has just graduated from the physics department. He will go to Princeton University for a master's degree and is known as "the strongest undergraduate graduate of Tsinghua University." You may not be able to imagine that such an excellent child, in fact, his parents seldom inculcate him with ideas, but represent reason with practical actions. In order not to let their children indulge in playing mobile phones and games, parents use old machines. In order to let children develop the habit of reading, parents will not watch TV in their spare time, but will choose to read, children are embarrassed to do other things, will naturally follow the reading. No matter how much you tell your child, you might as well set a good example to him. This reminds me of the way a host talked about his son's education. Under the imperceptible influence, the son has formed the habit of loving reading and sports since childhood, and there is no need for parents to nag at all. Parents with high EQ only set an example for their children, because children grow up watching their parents' backs. Two days ago, I saw a short video, which was very touching. The father took his son to eat self-help, but the son did not listen to his father's dissuasion and kept taking vegetables, insisting that he could finish it. When the father got up and left, the son secretly poured the rest of the food into the dustbin. When the father found out, he picked up the food his son poured into the trash can and ate it. While wiping away his tears, the son stopped his father and said, "I will never waste it again." Dong Qing said in the program "face to face": "what kind of person you want your child to be, you have to be what you want your child to be." If children like playing games and don't like reading, what parents should do is to put down their phones and start reading. If the child is lazy and doesn't like sports, what parents should do is to go outside and start running. If children are not frugal and waste food, what parents should do is to eat up the food in their bowls and plates first. Really, your words and deeds are better than thousands of reasons. Home is a place to talk about love. It's not a place for reasoning. Zhao Yong, a relationship expert, once told such a story. He and his wife have been married for eight years, and the first two years are always unhappy because of some family chores. Although the two people always quarrel, their feelings have never changed and they always love each other. In order to improve his relationship, he found an old man who had a golden marriage and still had a harmonious relationship between husband and wife, and asked for advice on the secret of happiness. The old man only told Zhao Yong: "there is less reason in life, it is best not to." At this time, Zhao Yong recalled that his wife always had a bad memory, often lost things, forgot to lock the door when she went out, forgot to turn off the computer after using the computer, and forgot to take the keys out of her pocket when washing clothes. In the face of the loss of his wife, he always has endless reasons: "are these little things so difficult? We are all adults and can't even deal with such a trifle. " The more Zhao Yong reasoned with his wife, the more strained their relationship became. After listening to the old man's advice, he learned to change himself by putting a note on the door reminding him to close the door, a note on the computer reminding him to turn it off, and a note on the washing machine reminding him to check his pocket. Over time, the wife slowly changed, and the relationship between the two became intimate. In the movie "embarrassing Mom," Yuan Quan said a word to Xu Zheng, who plays her husband: "you are just too reasonable. Can you be unreasonable? being reasonable in your relationship is the most unreasonable." Home is a place to talk about love, not a place to cheat, let alone a place to reason. The more reason you talk about, the worse your relationship will be. Partners who really have high EQ know how to tolerate and accommodate each other with love. For your partner, she may not fail to understand what you have said. But more often, she thinksAll I want is a person who knows himself and is willing to spoil himself. Finally, I would like to share with you two words: The first sentence: the most ineffective effort in the world is to reason with people. The second sentence: the most obedient to you in the world, the easiest to listen to your command, not others, but their own. The truth is told to yourself, not imposed on others.
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