The "new type of unfilial piety" is spreading: parents know nothing and children burst into tears

duhaoshu

recently, a new concept of unfilial piety has spread on the Internet.

what is the "new type of unfilial piety"?

blogger

@ have all the five tastes

gives a transparent explanation:

the new type of unfilial piety means that parents work hard all their lives, hoping that their children can prosper and make them proud, but the children fail to meet their parents' expectations.

the new type of unfilial piety is that parents think that their children are greedy for pleasure in big cities, do not find a partner or marry, and make their parents hate iron but not steel.

in the eyes of parents, children are their own glory, but in real life, children are embarrassed all over the floor.

although many people live in big cities, they live in cramped rental housing and lead a tight and lonely life.

996 go out early and come back late every day, while dealing with the heavy work and the ruthlessness of life, while carefully walking in the cold and warm of human feelings.

the cruelty of reality collides with parents' expectations, and the contradiction is dense, so there is the sentence that is popular all over the Internet:

"A new type of unfilial piety is spreading, parents know nothing, but children are already in tears."

in fact, there is no "new type of unfilial piety". It is just that the two generations have different experiences and ways of thinking.

"Mom broke down after 100 blind dates."

once saw the experience of a girl being forced to go on a blind date in a program.

the 28-year-old girl, who is good-looking, is the management of a large shopping mall, her income is stable and her career is on the rise.

but all the girl's achievements are not worth the "failure" of not getting married at the age of 28 in the eyes of her mother.

the mother began to arrange frequent blind dates for her daughter, and the girl went to see her blind date almost every day, sometimes even several times a day.

every time the blind date ends, the girl is exhausted and feels more tired than going to work, so the girl is ridiculed by her friends as a "blind date maniac".

in just two years, the mother entrusted all her relatives and friends and introduced nearly 100 blind dates to her daughter, but none of them succeeded.

the mother was completely devastated, blaming her daughter for being unfilial, saying she deliberately turned against her.

in fact, it's hard for a girl to say. She's not asking too much, but she just doesn't want to make do easily.

from a girl's point of view, when to get married does not depend on age, but on meeting the right person, but her mother disagrees.

because of marital problems, the girl was afraid of receiving a phone call from her mother, and the mother was full of anger when she mentioned her daughter.

in the end, the most intimate relationship has become a tit-for-tat enemy.

in life, how many parents and children have conflicts because of different ideas?

parents think that life should have a stable job and appropriate savings, but their children do not want to be held hostage by the world and insist on pursuing their dreams and freedom.

parents think that it is happiness for their children to get married as soon as possible, but their children do not regard marriage as a necessary choice and firmly believe that suitability is the best.

it is said in the novel Jian Yu Lou:

"being wronged is an aggrieved thing, but being wronged by a loved one is the most aggrieved thing at the end of the day.

"

Family is the softness of the heart, not understood and supported by the family, is the greatest grievance in the world.

"Sorry, I didn't live the way you wanted me to be."

there is a piercing passage in the movie everything is all right.

after retiring, the manager played by Zhang Guoguo decided to see the four children out there.

the boss sat on the high-speed railway and took out photos to show off the children's achievements to others.

but when he stood outside the studio managed by his youngest son, he couldn't knock on the door and couldn't even get on the phone.

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I finally learned that he was depressed because of his lack of talent, and he was seriously injured in an avalanche when he went to Tibet.

the old man went to Hangzhou to see Guanqing. Although Guan Qing was successful in his career, he was betrayed by his husband and lived alone with his children.

then, the old man went to Shanghai to find Guan Quan. Guan Quan is no longer a top-notch figure in listed companies, but is hard to start a business after selling his house.

finally, the old man went to Macau to find Guan Chu. As a result, Guan Chu had already given up dancing in the Grand Theater and went to work as a window model in a restaurant.

seeing the real life of the children, the manager knew how difficult it was for them to live.

when parents look at their children, they are often sugar-coated with love, which inadvertently magnifies their children's achievements and glory.

some parents even think that their children are living a romantic life in a big city, but they all lick blood on the tip of the knife.

in this regard, netizens

@ Huizi

I have deep feelings.

Huizi works in Shanghai with a salary of 6000 yuan. Her mother asks her to transfer 2000 yuan home every month and save it as a dowry in the future.

Huizi refused, and her mother immediately complained, "I just know how to enjoy it all day. How can I get married if I don't save some money?"

Huizi suddenly wetted her eyes. what her mother didn't know was that Huizi's salary was barely enough to make ends meet, and she dared not order takeout for more than 20 yuan.

even if the subway stops working late at night, Huizi would rather drag her tired body to change buses than take a taxi home.

Huizi can only swallow her anger when she is made difficult by her leaders and clients, because she can't afford to lose her job.

and she never told her parents, because she didn't want to worry her parents, and she was more afraid of letting them down.

it is said that parents always "report good news or not."Reporting bad news ", isn't it true that children are not?

they endure bitterness and bitterness, hold up their smiles and say, "I'm all right", but deep down, they have to face the reality and sigh:

"I'm sorry I didn't live the way you wanted, but I did my best."

Destiny is never kind, does not easily give success and happiness to anyone, only endless wind and frost and consultation.

it is normal for children to touch, crawl, roll and fight in life, just as they wish, only by accident, not as expected.

in adulthood, the child is the teacher of the parents

most of the time, it is not that the parents are really too rigid, but that no one leads them to keep up with the team.

if someone takes the initiative to build a bridge, he can bridge the gap of time.

my mother has been living alone since my friend Lily's father died. Although life is not bitter, it is also mediocre.

Mom's greatest happiness is waiting for Lily to come home, expecting Lily to get married and have children.

while Lily is a travel blogger, she travels 2/3 of the year and has little chance to go home.

later, Lily was quarantined at home because of the epidemic, so she stayed with her mother for two months.

at first, Lily was busy editing videos all day, and her mother had to sit alone on the sofa and look at her back.

by chance, Lily looked back and saw this scene filled with bitterness.

she left her work and dragged her mother to her room to show her her own video to tell interesting stories about her journey.

Mom listened with relish and asked some questions from time to time.

they had a good time that day.

after that, Lily began to teach her mother to shoot video clips and often broadcast live with her mother.

after the epidemic improved, Lily began to embark on the journey again, but this time, she was surrounded by her mother.

under the leadership of Lily, my mother not only learned to make short videos, but also often traveled alone, often with a smile on her face.

read a heart-piercing sentence: "We stepped on our parents' shoulders to see the splendor of the prosperous age, but laughed at them for being too ignorant and too shallow."

the backwardness of parents is not incompetence or shallowness, but that they devote their whole lives to nourishing us.

We often dislike our parents' outdated ideas and fail to keep up with the trend, but think about it carefully, what have we done for them?

parents' years are gone, they are no longer young, and they need a hand so that they will not fall behind.

in childhood, parents are the guides of their children, and in adulthood, children should be their parents' teachers.

parents and children have a fight, going both ways is the best way out

as the saying goes, "it is the common wish of every parent to hope for a successful son and a woman to become a Phoenix."

it is an eternal long-cherished wish to be parents and expect their children to get better.

but love is not a yoke, but understanding and support.

recently, the story of Gu Ailing and her mother woke up countless people.

in the final of the Beijing Winter Olympics, Gu Ailing lagged behind the other two contestants in the first two jumps.

Gu Ailing called her mother, and her mother advised her to choose what she was best at and strive for the silver medal.

but this time Gu Ailing didn't listen to her mother, so she decided to push her limits.

the mother didn't stop her daughter from taking risks, but said faintly, "OK, this is your game, so enjoy it."

Mom has always been like this, never forcing Gu Ailingshun to obey herself, she will give advice, but also respect the choice of her children.

sometimes, they even persuade their daughters not to pursue the best in everything.

because her mother is Stanford high achiever and her father graduated from Harvard, Gu Ailing was determined to be admitted to Stanford as a child.

Mom said: "you don't need to go to Stanford, what school you go to, as long as you like it very much, but more importantly, never give up your studies."

Gu Ailing, as her mother wishes, has been on the road of study, and in the end, she was admitted to Stanford as she wanted.

perhaps this is the best way out for parents and children: go both ways.

"I give you the deepest trust, and you give me a better self."

psychologist Joyce Blazers said:

"the best proof of love is trust, and mutual trust is the best love for children."

putting trust and understanding into love can be turned into a warm current and flow into each other's hearts.

parents and children have a fight, put aside their opposite stubbornness and run in the same direction, and the wishes they have promised will blossom all the way.

, may all parents and children meet each other like a warm sun and get along like a spring breeze.