May the people around you be with you for a long time.
I often hear people say that people with the same values are the only people who share the same values, and they should be acquainted with those who share the same values.
but everyone has different origins and experiences and lives in a different environment, so it is difficult to agree on the same ideas.
there is no perfect soul in the world, and all good relationships need to be managed with heart.
in a truly mature relationship, the three values should not be exactly the same. The important thing is not to contend with right or wrong.
No struggle for right or wrong is the greatest filial piety to parents
someone on the Internet once asked, "what is the most regrettable thing you have ever done?"
A netizen shared his story at the bottom of the post.
he said, "as a child, sometimes what hurts my mother the most is to argue with her in front of right and wrong."
the netizen's mother, who is in her seventies, often goes to the supermarket to stand in line early in the morning for a few free eggs.
but my mother has arthritis and hurts her legs and feet when she is tired. She often has to see a doctor after waiting in line.
every time he comes back from taking his mother to see a doctor, he will lose his temper, "how much are a few eggs worth?" How can you be so fussy? "
Mother is also very superstitious.
he always retweets some fake health articles on moments, and every time he sees them, he complains: "Mom, these are all fake. Would you please stop embarrassing me?"
until one day, his mother came to him in high spirits and asked him, "I spent 500 yuan on the Internet to buy a set of black hair. Can you help me to see if my white hair is much less?"
he was about to criticize, but he looked up and saw his mother's white hair.
Yes, the secret recipe for black hair bought for 500 yuan is of no use at all. on the contrary, my mother has more white hair.
but at that moment, he suddenly realized that there was nothing wrong with his mother, she was just old.
the ideas used to educate him when he was a child are now so anachronistic, and the people who propped up half the sky for him when he was a child are now left behind by the times.
he seems to have suddenly understood his mother.
"it turned out that she wanted to save a few dollars on eggs and thought she could have more protection. She was superstitious about those health articles because she wanted to have a good health and not drag down her children."
but as children, we always understand too late.
We can always easily find out our parents' faults and tell them exactly what is OK and what is not.
We won the truth, but in the end we got our parents' silence.
in the Book of Rites, it is said that in order to raise a filial son, one must first "enjoy his heart."
when we are reasonable and fight for right or wrong, we do not think that all our parents need is care and company.
many of the ideas and behaviors of parents may be outdated and pedantic in our eyes, but they are shaped by their past lives.
it is better to be empathetic than to argue.
seeing the limitations of parents, understanding their fragility and being tolerant of everything is the greatest filial piety for their children.
regardless of height, it is the best respect for friends
I have heard a saying that others respect you not because you are excellent, but because he is excellent.
the more mature people are, the less likely they are to impose their own principles on others, and when they shine, they will not blow out other people's lights.
@ small thoughts
once wrote the story of her roommate.
my roommate has a good family since he was a child. Before college, he traveled to dozens of countries and got excellent grades. When he was at school, he won a scholarship every year.
as for her, she was born in a small town and has no specialty.
but because they are in the same dormitory and both like literature, they soon become friends.
on weekdays, roommates like to eat western food, Xiao Nian likes roadside stalls, roommates like to read foreign classics, and Xiao Nian likes Wang Xiaobo's interesting and sharp.
the two have been together for four years without any disputes. Xiao Nian once thought that she and her roommate were predestined people with the same values.
until later, when they graduated and separated, Xiao Nian got to know a lot of people in society and saw more complex human nature, so she realized that her roommate had always been compatible with her values and cared about this friendship.
most of the time, we want to meet friends who hit it off, but what is even rarer than falling in love in the first place is the compromise and tolerance we have made to maintain the relationship.
comedian Charlie Chaplin has an audience friend who admires him very much.
this friend, a baseball fan, is happy to show Chaplin around his baseball collection, and Chaplin follows in high spirits.
later, Chaplin specially asked people to find his friends' favorite baseball stars and asked for autographed baseball caps for his friends.
Chaplin and this friend have different positions and tastes, but they are enviable for being able to do so attentively.
so his friend still remembers this precious friendship until his temples are gray.
"it is my greatest honor to be a friend of Chaplin in this life.
it was he who taught me what is meant by true respect and true friendship, and his personality illuminates my life. "
it is often easy to lament that people are easy to cool, and it is always said that a good relationship requires the same pace, but there is no one in the world who can think and act in the same frequency.
seeking common ground is a kind of pursuit. It is only by reserving differences that one tests one's wisdom.
precious friendship, never a sense of identity, no distinction between superior and inferior.
what is more important than the convergence of the three values is to care about each other and work together.
most of the time, on the way of life, you give me a hand, I cross you for a while, and in the end, we don't get lost, which is the most precious thing in the world.
not winning or losing is the greatest tenderness to your partner
in one episode of "Strange stories", a debater shared his story.
once he had a quarrel with his girlfriend over a trivial matter. Both of them thought they were right, and neither of them would give in.
as a debater, he easily caught a loophole in his girlfriend's logic and listed arguments to refute each other one by one.
unexpectedly, as soon as he finished speaking, his girlfriend became even angrier.
it was only then that he realized that he could use his reason to suppress each other, but what his girlfriend needed was love and tenderness.
when we are young, we are used to being aggressive, always crushing others with absolutely correct posture and gaining a sense of spiritual superiority.
wait until you go through the ups and downs of the world, only to know that in trivial days, respect can make a relationship last longer than winning or losing.
the so-called touching story is just a warm scene created by two people who tolerate each other and create in the mediocre fleeting years.
Zhou Youguang, the father of Hanyu Pinyin, and his wife Zhang Yunhe, one is a famous linguist, the other is a lady from a wealthy family.
two people with different backgrounds never compete in life.
one of them likes western musical instruments, one loves Chinese music, one likes coffee and the other likes tea.
but the two never compare whose hobbies are more advanced, and will take the time to accompany each other to do what they like.
the two will also quarrel, but Zhou Youguang's attitude is never angry. He never blames his wife with words of censure or shows off his knowledge.
to ask them the secret of a long happy marriage, it is probably compromise and respect in trivial time.
I have read this passage:
Don't talk about the three values and fight for right and wrong in an intimate relationship. Instead, you should know how to reflect and be grateful, that intimacy is more important than right, and tolerance is more important than reform.
because in this world, what is more precious than love at first sight is to be accompanied for a lifetime.
I have heard a saying that all relationships in the world, in the final analysis, are your relationship with yourself.
A relationship tends to mature, which is inseparable from personal wisdom and practice.
only when you know how to seek common ground while reserving differences, respect and understanding, can you make your feelings warmer and longer over the years.
", may the people around you be with you for a long time.
good news, I believe there is always a sound that warms you