The highest level of self-discipline: don't say enough, don't worry too much, don't overindulge.

readingclub_btfx Roosevelt once said: "there is a quality that can make people stand out from the mediocrity, not talent, not upbringing, but self-discipline." In life, self-disciplined people know the depth of their words, their desires are restrained, and they just want to be just right. Words do not say, do not worry too much, but want to indulge, is a person's top self-discipline. Don't say all the words. The Analects of Confucius recorded a dialogue: Or said: "Yong is also benevolent but not shy." The Master said, "how can you use it? The emperor gives it with his mouth, and he repeatedly hates others, but he doesn't know his benevolence, so how can he use it? " Some people say that ran Yong is benevolent, but not eloquent. Confucius replied: "Imperial people give by mouth, repeatedly hate people", which means sharp-tongued, aggressive people are often hated by others. I read a story: The poet Su Dongpo once visited Wang Anshi. When he came to the prime minister's mansion, Wang Anshi was sleeping, so the housekeeper took him to the study for tea. Su Dongpo found that there was a half-draft poem "Yong Ju" on his desk. He couldn't help laughing: The teacher has always written a thousand words, but this poem has only written two sentences without a final rhyme. It seems that the teacher has run out of talent. After reading the poem "the west wind passed the garden last night and blew down yellow flowers and gold on the ground," Su Dongpo was so excited that he did not spit it out, so he continued to write two sentences: "Autumn flowers fall no more than spring flowers," said the poet carefully. " When he finished writing, he left. When Wang Anshi woke up, when he saw Su Shi's handwriting, he smiled and said: "since he didn't know that the Huangzhou chrysanthemum had fallen petals, let him go and have a look." As a result, Wang Anshi used an excuse to demote Su Dongpo to Huangzhou. A year later, when Double-ninth Day and Su Dongpo invited friends to enjoy the chrysanthemum, he was dumbfounded and speechless for a while when he saw the gold spread all over the floor under the chrysanthemum rack. Su Dongpo realized his shallowness and apologized to Wang Anshi for altering his chrysanthemum poems. Many times, you think you are knowledgeable, so you comment on others at will, but you only know a thing or two. To say nothing is to be in awe of the unknown, to be humble to life, to leave room for speech, and to be a kind of self-cultivation. "A gentleman wants to be slow in words and quick in deeds." Confucius believed that a gentleman should act decisively and swiftly, while words must be careful. Half of the so-called worldly sophistication has something to do with speaking, and it is most likely to cause trouble if you show authority in words. If you don't say enough, you can save face for others and a way out for yourself. Don't worry too much. Writer Danjin wrote in his book "you just think too much": "all the unbearable and troubles are just narcissism and self-abuse, and all the worries and doubts are due to my own reasons." Netizen @ Xiaoya Complained about one thing: Xiaoya's friend Xiaozhong, for a new car, does not want to pay by installments. I hope Xiaoya can lend her tens of thousands of yuan. Xiaoya is very tangled, she and Xiaozhong such a good relationship, do not borrow, may hurt the friendship, if borrowed, she has a plan to buy a second apartment. After thinking it over, Xiaoya told Xiaozhong that she could only show that she could not borrow too much. A friend may feel that he didn't borrow much and got the money. First, he didn't sign the IOU, and second, he didn't say when to pay it back. After that, Xiaoya wanted to ask Xiaozhong very much, but she couldn't open her mouth. The procedure of the second apartment is about to be done. Xiaoya really wants to ask the other party when to repay the money, but she still can't open her mouth. First of all, I am afraid that the other party will want to pay it back after only a few days of borrowing it. Second, I am afraid that the other party will think, didn't you say that there is not much money in the family, why do you have to buy a house right away? Xiaoya thought about it over and over again, and she was stunned. She said that she often dreamed about it at night, and when she thought about it, it was like a dark cloud hanging over her. Not only blame yourself for lending money in the first place, but also figure out how to ask for money so as not to offend people. Many times, our troubles come from too much imagination, but no matter how much we recall, there is no way to change the past, which will only make us more anxious. When you are struggling, the best way is to listen to your true voice and make a decisive decision about something. Feng Tang has this sentence in "the growth of all things": "if I don't think about it, I'll be happy. In other words, happiness means not thinking too much. " A person's biggest internal friction is to quarrel with himself and ponder over some trivial things over and over again. It is true that diligent thinking can make people introspect and reasonable, but overthinking will only make people fall into the abyss of self-negation. Unload those unnecessary burdens and entanglements, break free from the fetters of the soul, in order to move forward with a free and easy state of mind. No more than indulgence. I've seen a story: There is a kind of monkey in Algiers who likes to steal rice very much. So, according to the characteristics of monkeys, local farmers developed an ingenious way to catch monkeys. They hung a gourd-shaped bottle on a big tree and filled it with the monkey's favorite rice. The ingenious design of the bottle is that the monkey's claws are just enough to reach in, but when they grab a handful of rice, they can't get them out. Until the farmers came to catch them, they were still squatting in place, clutching a handful of rice in their hands. Farmers take advantage of the greedy nature of monkeys to catch one by one. Most of the time, we are like the monkey who can't get rid of his desires, asking but not getting, getting but not satisfied. If people do not know how to control their desires, they will eventually be eaten back by them. There is a sentence in the Divine Comedy: "Blind greed incites people, but in the end they are subjected to torture forever." In life, some people are so greedy that they want to have it again, and their desires expand infinitely, and they have never been truly happy. Some people, who know that enough is enough, let it go, and do not chase endless desires. They are calm and comfortable. The writer Mr. Cai Lan shared an experience: Once, when he was traveling to Spain, he met an old man fishing on a small island. The island is rich in seafood, but the old man catches very small fish. Puzzled, Cai Lan asked the old man, "there are more and bigger fish in the distance. Why are you sitting here fishing for small fish?" The old man said without thinking: "just enough for breakfast. I don't want anything extra." My husband was enlightened by the old man's words.. If people always pursue unlimited desires with limited energy, it will sink, it will be a tragedy in the end. People live a lifetime, only by letting go of the desire to ask but not get, can we live calmly and freely. As the saying goes, indulgence is instinct, abstinence is skill. Wanting nothing but indulgence is a person's highest self-discipline. There is a saying in the secrecy of Little window: "in all things, if the meaning is endless, the machine will be round; for everything, if it is not enough, it will be rich." For all feelings, the meaning that cannot be left is deep; for all words, the meaning that cannot be left is far away. " The main idea is: speak, do things, use emotion, keep an endless meaning, the benefits will be endless. Don't say enough, leave three points not clear, save face for others, give yourself a way back. Do not worry too much, put aside superfluous worries and doubts, will be more calm and calm If you want to be indulgent, and do not sink into the pursuit of desire, you will be more open-minded on the road of life. Flowers look half-blooming, drink a little tipsy, life, do not ask for too full, can be perfect. May you discipline yourself and embrace the good luck of life for the rest of your life. May you still be a pure and rich person after the vicissitudes of the world.

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