The greatest practice in marriage is to get through the "pillow person".
Falling in love is a kind of fate, and keeping together is a spiritual practice.
youshucc There is a saying in Zengguang Xianwen: "one day husband and wife will marry forever." Bai Shi Xiu came to the same ferry, and Thousand Shu came to sleep together. " Falling in love is a kind of fate, and keeping together is a spiritual practice. Some people yearn for the stars and sea, for the distance, non-stop; some people choose firewood, rice, oil and salt, for the present, careful calculation. The so-called husband and wife fight is like a weight at both ends of the balance, both sides will lead to one heavy and one light because of their own growth, environmental impact, and so on. The day tipped to one side, unable to maintain stability, such a strong and weak marriage will end in failure. Only when the two sides maintain a relative balance can the relationship be stable and reliable. All happy marriages are "strong" and "weak", and they are the pillow people who learn to cross each other. Crossing pattern Song Yunhui and Cheng Kaiyan became the feelings of many people in the TV series "Great Rivers 2". Song Yunhui, played by Wang Kai, was born in an ordinary family. In order to change his fate, he studied hard and went to the life he wanted step by step. From a young clerk to a deputy factory director, he never stopped growing, constantly enriching himself, and always broadening his pattern and horizons. And his wife, Cheng Kaiyan, was accustomed to enjoying comfort because she had lived in a favorable environment since childhood. After Song Yunhui became deputy factory director, in order that the husband and wife could go hand in hand and let his wife learn more, he specially transferred Cheng Kaiyan to the local post. But Cheng Kaiyan did not take the time to improve his ability, but focused on how to improve the relationship between colleagues, hoping to "climb" through the relationship. The gap between husband and wife is getting wider and wider, and the psychological distance is also getting farther and farther. Cheng Kaiyan did not understand what Song Yunhui did, and Cheng Kaiyan did not understand what Song Yunhui wanted to achieve. As a result, the relationship between husband and wife is getting worse and worse. If the pattern is different, the vision is different, and the life is also different. The side with a large pattern sees poetry and the distance, while the side with a small pattern is entangled in the trivialities in front of them. As the saying goes, a good marriage means that husband and wife are equal. Pattern is the compass of marriage, which affects each other's preferences and determines whether the family is happy or not. Cross the way of thinking In the past two days, a "love letter" has become popular in the circle of friends. An old man in the isolation ward wrote a "love letter" to his wife, who was also quarantined and treated by COVID-19. Grandpa Li, who wrote the Love letter, is 69 years old, and his wife is 5 years younger than him. The old couple grew up together in a village. Due to the different time of admission, Grandpa Li did not live in the same ward with his wife. During a telephone conversation, the two men quarreled. Because the illness came suddenly, and her wife was not in good health and could not eat, Grandpa Li advised her to take two bites and assist the doctor in treatment. Unexpectedly, my wife said "you don't know" and hung up the phone. After that, Grandpa Li called two or three times and his wife turned off their phones. Grandpa Li later learned that his wife had been sent to ICU because of his worsening illness. Coincidentally, Grandpa Li's own physical condition was not stable in those days, so the medical staff did not tell him. To find the crux of the problem, Grandpa Li took the initiative to keep a low profile, actively admit his mistakes and resolve the depression in his wife's heart. In marriage, it is inevitable to encounter many objective problems. At this time, our way of thinking of solving problems has a great impact on the results. How you solve the problem, it affects the marriage. Some people take the initiative, willing to communicate, and solve problems, while others complain, complain, or even give up. Different ways of thinking have established the sad and happy tone of marriage. Cross the thirst for knowledge We often say that love depends on impulse, while marriage goes through trivial daily life. If two people take different steps, they will not be able to resonate on the same frequency, and their marriage will get bogged down sooner or later. A netizen on Zhihu shared his story. After she married her husband, her husband didn't have many job opportunities, so they decided to let him be a "family cook" for the time being. As a result, the husband was decadent and stayed at home playing games and sleeping in all day. However, she wanted to go abroad for further study, but she soon found herself pregnant. In desperation, in order to maintain the normal operation of her family, she had to continue to commute between the workplace and her family. After the baby was born, the husband abandoned the baby crying and became a shopkeeper. She does housework every day, feeds the children, and begins to work non-stop after the month. Due to the pressure of life, she still wants to continue her studies and add value to herself, so as to make more money. As a result, she applied to the unit for the opportunity to go abroad, hoping that her husband could take good care of the children, but she got a sentence from her husband: "what are you doing with all this fancy stuff? life is fine now. I can't take care of the children when you're gone." In this way, she had to give up the chance. Later, as the children grew up, the cost of living became higher and higher, and they quarreled every day about money. Every time she recalled it, she would say: "in addition to the certificate at the bottom of the box, there is a huge gap in our pursuit of knowledge in our marriage. In fact, it already exists in name only." A good partner is a partner in each other's life. he will upgrade and fight with you and make continuous efforts to improve the quality of life. By no means, one is yearning for beauty, the other is resting on its laurels. In marriage, once the thirst for knowledge is no longer equal, like a fish, one hope leaps over the dragon gate, but the other is addicted to the pond, the relationship is destined to be difficult to maintain. Transit demand Best friend Xia Ling talked about her. Xia Ling is a romantic girl who has been married twice. The first marriage, the other party is a very diligent boy. But the differences in the needs of the two people put the marriage in crisis. When Xia Ling is fragile, she needs comfort; when she is lonely, she wants someone to accompany her. Whenever this time, the other person will always say: "I know, so I'm trying to make money. If I'm rich, I won't have these emotions." In this way, the two people have different rhythms, and the marriage has come to an end. At the age of 30, Xia Ling has a new fiance. The fiance knows that Xia Ling needs more spiritual needs and emotional comfort than material needs. He will go shopping with Xia Ling on call, and will be silently by her side when she is unhappy. The fiance works hard, lives seriously, is willing to listen to Xia Ling's troubles andGive reasonable advice. Xia Ling once commented: "he is a person who can make me feel safe and stable." He is a man who doesn't have any tidbits and doesn't even bother to look at other women. He is a person who will stay at home with me on weekends, have dinner, read books, brush the house and grow flowers. " Everyone has different views on marriage, and their expectations and needs are also different. Some for material, some for emotion. A person who needs company cannot be comforted by material things. A person who needs material things cannot be cured by companionship. In an intimate relationship, needs determine why they will come together and why they will leave. Only when two people in a marriage match in the value of their needs, I can give you exactly what you want, and you know that only by going both ways can the state of marriage be maintained on Tian Chang Di Jiu (Eternal Dumpling). Transit planning Do you remember Aunt Su Min, 50 years old? For Su Min, she has always had her own ideas about life. After having a child, Su Min planned to go out to work, but her husband advised her to take good care of the baby at home. Su Min wants to go out for a big meal, but her husband wants to share the AA with her. In 2019, when Su Min was bored surfing the Internet, she saw a self-driving tour strategy of a blogger and envied her. She began to look up strategies for self-driving trips on the Internet, how to modify her car so that she could eat and sleep on it, install a cooking system, keep warm and shelter from the wind, and provide solar power. While her husband is still sticking to his original life and indulging in the details of his parents, Su Min has packed up and left his "comfort circle" and embarked on the journey in her own car. In marriage, when one person clearly plans the future and puts it into practice, while the other person remains at a standstill and is content with the status quo, the gap between them will widen. Like two people who start at the same time on the track, one has a clear goal and follows the planned path steadily, while the other is aimless and ends up drifting away. Only when we have the same plan, can we walk hand in hand in our future life. Pass the executive force Two days ago, a video went viral on moments: The protagonist of the video is a "post-85" couple. Her husband Lan Kai and wife Yang Jiali successively quit their jobs as civil servants and began to travel when the child was two and a half years old. In less than three years, it has gone through more than 150 cities. Before they resigned naked, they worked as civil servants in Xinjiang with an average income. And because the work is so busy, sometimes I can't see my children even after working overtime for several days. They spend so little time with their children that they feel they need to do something to change the status quo. After a discussion, the two men began to take action. In early 2017, Lan Kai and Yang Jiali both quit their jobs and went to Chengdu to make a living. After resigning naked, the two men began to freelance using the skills trained in civil service career, such as document writing, event planning, project analysis and so on. In November 2018, the RV trip began. The family of three went to many strange cities and lived a life they had never dared to imagine before. When husband and wife have a common pursuit, whether it is a dream or a plan, they need to put it into practice. If you are eager for a promotion and a raise, you must work hard together to face difficulties and solve problems. If you want to have a good figure, you should exercise together and make a scientific and effective shaping plan. In the process of going both ways to get better together, each other's feelings will remain sweet. On the contrary, when two people often have "daydreams", dreams are just on the tip of the tongue, and in the end they can only be talked about, which is like a bubble. Execution is the best lubricant to maintain a marital relationship. ▽ Some people may ask, how can we reap a happy marriage? Hu Bingyan's "five unique" gives the answer: "one leaf after another, perseverance spoils and loves deeply." Snuggle up to know the hot and cold, accompany and cherish the truth. " A happy marriage needs to learn to cross one's own pillow. Marriage is an ashram of intimate relationship, where earthly fireworks life, trivial eating and drinking, and inevitable tribulations and setbacks all need to be faced with one heart and one mind between husband and wife, holding hands and sharing adversity together. To share with my friends.
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