The key to paradise is in my father's hand.
"how can you be a mother if you don't even like a child?"
I went to the bookstore a few days ago. As soon as I arrived at the door, I was startled by the sound of reprimand.
looking up, a 3-or 4-year-old boy fell at the door with tears in his big eyes.
his mother hurriedly picked him up and soothed him with a loving look on her face.
Dad stood by, complaining unscrupulously.
Mom couldn't help explaining: "I was paying. Who knew he turned around and ran away."
Dad turned a deaf ear and said to each other again: "what else do you know besides eating?"
with that, he snatched the child and walked away.
the child is like a frightened rabbit, struggling and shouting "Mom!" The heartbreaking cry haunted the whole bookstore.
watching this scene, I can't be calm for a long time.
There is no other place you are guaranteed of versatility, only by wedding red with black dresses. Immediately after buying, you get a peace of mind.
the child ran and fell down on his own. instead of giving comfort and education, the father pointed the finger at the mother in public, making the child feel that the mother was the culprit.
look around and find that such a father is not uncommon.
many people are used to being high above, easily taunting, picky, and belittling their wives, saying, "Let her be more careful."
Mom is not loved
Children's inner defects
how painful is the child living in a family where the mother is not loved?
in the Cat's Child of the Taiwanese TV series "your Child is not your Child," A Yan, the hero, is the victim of this kind of family.
A Yan's father is a good shopkeeper:
being absent from home all the year round, having no sense of responsibility, betraying his wife emotionally, and often committing domestic violence against her under the pretext of poor grades for her child.
A Yan's mother, suffering from humiliation, silently swallowed her husband's fist.
instead of accepting the child's request to "apply for a family violence order", he blamed his own experience on "the child's failure to stand up for himself".
in order to let her husband go home and fill the gap in her heart, she bet all her bets on Ah Yan.
forcing a son with learning disabilities to get a full grade in the exam and become an "accomplished person".
seemingly gentle, she became uncertain and out of control.
one second he was still smiling and cooking fine food, and the next he changed his face because of his child's poor grades, scolding "it's all your fault!"
what is even more frightening is that, once a victim of domestic violence, she turned into a murderer who harmed her children, pinching and twisting, and threatened that "if you don't study hard and find a lot of excuses, you just want to be taught a lesson!"
under the airtight kidnapping, A Yan walks on thin ice and lives in fear every day.
he loves his mother so much that he wants to be what his mother expects and win her father's respect.
but no matter how hard you try, it won't help.
while he was afraid that his mother would be beaten, he was worried that his mother would not want to herself.
when he was overwhelmed, he became sensitive and inferiority complex, timid and cowardly, withdrawn, lack of sense of security, and finally had serious psychological problems.
try to attract the mother's attention through self-harm, and gain satisfaction through cat abuse again and again.
A scarred mother will eventually turn a sensible child into a mental disorder.
the experience of A Yan's mother and son is suffocating and distressing.
in life, how many mothers gradually lose their sense of happiness and ability to love because of their husbands' indifference and fastidiousness, and even transfer their negative emotions to the children who are most attached to us?
pity these innocent children, banished in a fragmented world, whining alone.
parents' marriage pattern
determine the future family of the child
there was a question in Zhihu: how much impact does a father not love his mother have on his children?
one netizen replied: father does not love his mother, which is more terrible than the absence of a family.
in her impression, her mother worked hard for her family, while her father often brushed his cell phone at home, doing nothing, always insulting her mother with words, and even hurt her hand with a black machete.
she hated her father since she was a child, and secretly made up her mind to take her mother away and leave the devil's family.
for this, she forced herself to study hard.
Ten years of cold window, fighting all the way, and finally admitted to 985 colleges and universities.
now 30 +, she has a good career and the ability to pick up her mother.
however, due to the influence of her original family, she has no hope for marriage.
although she has had several well-qualified boyfriends, she "disappears" when it comes to marriage.
also wanted to be brave, but there was always a voice beating her: "Don't trust men, men are unreliable."
Zhihong once said:
"Father, mother and child are emotional triangles.
if parents love each other and the family is harmonious, then the child will inherit the very healthy mode of love, and when he grows up, he will project this pattern of love into his own love and family.
otherwise, children will copy unhealthy templates from their native parents, and it will be difficult to establish healthy intimate relationships and happy families.
some of the girls affected by this feel the same as this netizen.Marriage is disappointed, while others become humble and pander in intimate relationships, even if they are squeezed by each other.
for boys, they learn to treat their mothers from their fathers, starting with never respecting and hurting their mothers, and then other women, and when he starts a family, he treats his wife in a bad way.
for example, in Family on Hot Pot, David is preoccupied with his work and is indifferent to his wife, and the couple are in serious marital crisis.
after the psychiatrist intervened, it was discovered that the root cause was that David's father had treated his mother in the same way.
the bad pattern of the original family is eventually copied into the new family, delaying the happiness of the child's life.
the best education for children
Dad loves Mom and Dad
Zeng Qifeng said: the relationship between husband and wife is the Poseidon needle of the family.
when husband and wife fall in love, their children are naturally filled with heart and are more able to embrace happiness.
therefore, the best education for children is that fathers love their mothers.
so, how to love?
praise your wife and give her enough respect and affirmation
my friend Xiaofeng is a well-known boss in the circle. his wife has an ordinary appearance and a low salary, but she has never had inferiority complex and is in excellent condition every time she appears.
this is inseparable from Xiaofeng's honey-wiped mouth:
"my wife is a treasure. She takes such good care of her children and has a career of her own. I am really lucky to marry her."
boast to your face, behind your back, and in front of your children.
my wife enjoys it, and the family life is naturally smooth.
many men do not realize that the contribution to the family cannot be measured by money.
to love your wife, you should start by affirming her dedication and value.
A sincere boast gives her a sense of existence and identity.
replace your wife and take on more family responsibilities
We often say that men who can do housework are the most attractive.
then, Zhang Jike's father can be called a star of charm.
in Reality Show, "Men who love to do housework 2," Father Zhang does all the housework, including washing dishes, cooking, raising chickens, arranging flowers, and doing everything in the decathlon.
Mama Zhang's main task after getting up every day is to put on exquisite makeup and appear beautifully in front of her husband.
this has been the case for decades.
at the stall, such a man who loves to do housework, it is no wonder that Mother Zhang has a happy face and becomes the envy of the whole network.
loving your wife is not just a word.
after work, replace her, wash a bowl, mop the floor, help his wife reduce fatigue, and assume the responsibility of a family.
give way to your wife, don't win or lose for a while
in life, many couples quarrel over trifles. The two sides refused to give way to each other, became more and more intense, and ended up hurting both sides.
there is a sentence in the movie Ip Man: "there is no man who is henpecked, only a man who respects his wife."
Home is a place to talk about love, and women are all emotional species.
therefore, men might as well be "pushy" a little bit, never be reasonable and unforgiving, and give way when the two sides disagree.
as long as a woman is comfortable, chicken feathers in a place of life can also be turned into works of art.
support your wife and educate your children to stand on the United front
there is a term on the Internet called "dismantled father". They always work against their wives, making each other's educational success fall short.
when watching "Family has Children", he is often amazed by the treasure husband of Xia Donghai.
especially when children make mistakes, even if they have differences with Liu Mei, they will not refute them face to face, but go to the bedroom to discuss and unify the battle line, and then come out to face the children together.
with this support, children will not take advantage of loopholes, and Liu Mei's education will become very easy.
this kind of wisdom is worth absorbing by every husband.
I believe that if I master the above secret books, there will be a "warm" husband rising gradually.
I remember a father asked Professor Medina, a famous American brain neuroscientist, for advice: "how can I help his son be admitted to Harvard?"
the professor replied, "from now on, go home and love your wife!"
he points out that the best criterion for predicting performance is the emotional stability of the family, while the effectiveness of the mother as a barometer is unyielding.
although academic achievement is not the ultimate goal of education, it is evident that fathers love their mothers to the growth of their children.
Emerson once said, "Home is the father's kingdom, the mother's world, and the children's paradise."
the key to paradise is in my father's hand.
Dad loves Mom, and Mom gets positive energy from it and becomes gentle and amiable.
Dad loves Mom and Dad, and the child will be filled with sense of security and get the template and nutrition for happiness from a good relationship to support his future.
so, dads, please love your child's mother!