There is still a lot of luck in the future, leave some warmth for yourself.
duhaoshu "now the contradiction between people mainly comes from a group of people who are used to asking others by the standards of saints and themselves by the standards of bitches." No matter what you have experienced and how much you have been wronged, there will always be people who advise you to forgive. It sounds kind, it seems to mean well, but every word is a wound sprinkling salt. In many cases, it is really not so magnanimous, and not all apologies are worthy of forgiveness. Stay away from those "kind-hearted people" and follow your heart. There is a kind of good guy that is harder to guard against than the bad guy. Kind people are not easy to meet, and there are always many people who advise you to be kind. Some netizens posted that she had driven her sister-in-law out of the house, and her relatives and friends around her advised her to be magnanimous, but she felt bored. She suffered from cancer a few years ago and suddenly found out that she could not get out of the money she had invested in financial management. A single mother with an old father and children, no one to take care of her illness, surgery and seven times of chemotherapy, a lot of credit card overdrafts. My brother borrowed tens of thousands of dollars from her before, but he didn't pay it back for 10 years, and then he made a lot of money by selling the house. Her brother, who was waiting for money to save her life, didn't even see her face. Just relying on the provident fund to pay back some money, the sister-in-law suddenly ran over and said that she would send it to the old man when the child was old. Her father is 70 years old, and she brought it to her, and she has not yet passed the recovery period of her operation, so it is impossible to agree. Seeing his sister-in-law making trouble in front of the old man, she couldn't help but drive her out: "Don't blame me for being rude if you do it again." Between neighbors, relatives, no one did not persuade her to be kind, just be patient, but in the end she became a villain. As a matter of fact, you really don't know how humane it is. People who seem to take great pains to persuade you, not only can not feel your sadness, or even do not know what you have experienced, but prefer to choose for you. They don't care whether you are reasonable or aggrieved, even if you refute it. Sadness is always inevitable, and it is normal not to be understood. If you meet these people, don't stay away from them. As Guo Degang said: "maybe one day lightning strikes him will affect you." If you regard generosity as truth and gossip as justice, you can only be silent. When you can't forgive, you don't forgive. Huang Lei said on the variety show that the Chinese have eight forgiveness: All come, it is not easy, all friends, is a child, people are dead, in the Spring Festival, give face, for your own good. No one can escape the stumbling of interpersonal communication. Proper forgiveness is sometimes needed, but if you can't, why force yourself? When you come, you can't wronge yourself; if it's not easy, don't go too easily; it's a child, it's not too late to teach you a lesson. Forgiving someone is your own business. there is no word worth tying you up. When Yue Yunpeng worked in a restaurant at the age of 15, he once wrote down the wrong number of beer ordered by the guest. He kept apologizing, but the guest scolded him with great insult. If you want to pay out of your own pocket, the guests still keep scolding. Yelled at him for three hours for two 6-yuan bottles of beer. After that, he left the restaurant, met master Guo Degang, and stood all the way to the stage of the Spring Festival Gala. Nearly 20 years later, he still choked and said, "I still hate him." Some people say that he should thank the big brother, if he had not left the restaurant, he would not be where he is today, but he said bluntly that he still hated, especially hated. When I was a teenager, I was the only one who knew the hurt of my self-esteem. We all have scars that we dare not touch in our hearts, and even if they have healed, they still feel a dull pain. How long has passed, forgiveness is not inevitable, things are big or small, others are not qualified to say. Can't let it go, not unkind, not narrow-minded, maybe it doesn't mean anything. Like forgiveness, it's just a choice. You don't have to forgive others, but please let yourself go. It is said in the disqualification of the World: I have been kind all my life and have never done anything bad, but none of this human suffering has spared me. Life has never let go of anyone, can let you go, only you. In one experiment, 135 bullied students were recruited and divided into groups to imagine forgiveness, escape and revenge. Force yourself to forgive, no matter how much empathy with the bully, or slow to get out, the pressure is increasing. On the other hand, people who imagine fleeing to other places and imagining ways of revenge come out much faster. If you can't forgive, try to put it down and throw away the pain. Sad memories, no longer sad when mentioned, irritable emotions, no longer angry when looking back, is really the past. There is a blogger who runs a diving shop, who is as close as his best friend to his best friend. As soon as he starts a business, he gives all the customer information to his best friend to manage. Less than 4 months after opening, her best friend drew contacts in her store, easily swept away all the customer resources, and opened her own shop with two clerks. Without the source of tourists, she was too miserable to pay her salary, borrowed NT $400000, and doubted herself every day. Until she saw a picture of her best friend with another girl, with the caption "afternoon tea with my only best friend", she was suddenly relieved that all the entanglements were punishing herself. Slowly adjust the state of mind, optimize in-store service, stay up late at night to write promotional materials. She paid off the loan and understood the hearts of the people better. She said: "some people and things, you do not have to force yourself to forgive, the real thanks are the people who helped you in difficulties, and yourself who did not give up along the way." In other people's eyes, you are really not that important. The most afraid that you are not willing to let go, unwilling to forget, the person who hurt you is painless, or even do not remember. Whether or not to forgive, it doesn't matter whether it's high or low, but let yourself go, but there are fast and slow. Too many entanglements, so heart-wrenching, all have a hard time with themselves. Without the sufferings of the past, opening your eyes is a new life. May you be kind and sharp. There is no shortage of warm people and a lot of annoying things in the world, so we don't have to be aggressive all the time and don't be too aggrieved about ourselves. The best state is kind enough and sharp. The writer Mu Yange once talked about a family who did not ask for help but specialize in helping others and seldom quarreled with others. When others have excessive demands, they all say, "I understand, I understand", repeatedly wronging themselves and making concessions again and again. Mu Yan GE's friend is just the opposite. She does things gently and tactfully, but when she comes across things that embarrass her, she never makes it very clear. Colleague'sIf the work is pushed to her, she will say, "if I do it for you now, it will really hurt you. These are all things you have to learn." When others borrow money from her, she will say in advance when and how to pay it back. At first, people thought that she was too cold, but gradually they felt that she was the most reliable, but they were willing to find her instead. Being sincere doesn't mean you're not on your guard; being able to help others doesn't mean you want to be taken advantage of; choosing to be kind doesn't mean you don't have thorns. The principle and the bottom line are there, your kindness will be meaningful. Dong Mingzhu was kicked out of the genealogy, so that she had been criticized, her brother wanted to go through the back door and rely on connections to get some goods. But she went back: "you are not a dealer, what kind of goods are you here to get?" After asking clearly, it asked people to stop the supply of that dealer. My brother lost face and angrily wrote her a Dear John letter and had nothing to do with her again. She never regretted it. Only when her brother got cancer, she immediately arrived: "at this time, whether he recognizes me or not, I have to go to see him." only then did my brother understand her. "when I'm on the job, you'd better not have anything to do with me, so that when we get old, we can go back to the brother-sister relationship of childhood," she said. " Everyone has his own principles, and everyone has likes and dislikes. No one deliberately fell out with friends, no one sincerely embarrassed relatives, do not easily define "ruthless", do not be too difficult for yourself. If you feel uncomfortable, allow yourself to grow some sharpness. Do not be soft, gentle and firm, people who understand you, do not need to say more. The writer Migg has a saying: Round is not sharp, soft is not cowardly, this kind of beauty is full and confident. Tolerant and kind-hearted, friendly to others, never out of date. It's just that when it makes you uncomfortable, it's hard to sleep over and over again, it's no longer a good thing. You have the right to forgive and care about those who mess with you. The person who advises you, if you don't want to fight back, at least you can leave. Remember to let go of the past, but also let go of yourself, in the future all kinds of people, all kinds of things, do not begrudge kindness, do not bruise the edge. There is still a lot of luck in the future, leave some warmth for yourself.
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