Six manifestations of "suicidal socialization"
Kindness is behind all the high EQ.
tongshier2 Feng Jicai told a story of "good mouth Yang Ba" in "the Strange Man of the World". Jinmen resort, capable people such as Lin, out of two tea soup experts. One is Yang Qi, who is good at craftsmanship, and the other is Yang Ba, who is eloquent and takes care of outfields. the two of them are famous for doing this ordinary street snack. On one occasion, when Li Hongzhang visited Tianjin, local officials thought about changing the taste of the adults in the atrium who were fed up with delicacies, so they took Li Hongzhang to the Yang family tea soup. Yangba had been waiting for a long time and offered the tea with both hands. When Li Hongzhang was about to taste the famous product of Jinmen, as soon as his eyes fell into the bowl, his brow frowned, a cloud rose on his face, and he threw his hand and knocked the tea to the ground. All the officials present were stunned, and Yangba hurriedly knelt down, and no one knew why the master of the atrium was angry. Yangba, who knelt on the ground, looked down at the tea in the broken bowl and suddenly understood that the adults in the atrium must have never had tea before and regarded the broken sesame floating on the soup as dirty. But here comes the problem. If we directly say that this is not dirty, it will inevitably appear that the adults in the atrium have not seen the world, but if we do not explain it clearly, the consequences will be more serious. Yang Ba had an idea and kowtowed again and again while shouting: "the master of the atrium appeased his anger! The villain does not know that the adults in the atrium do not like to eat crushed sesame seeds, which annoys the adults, so spare the villain this time. " When Li Hongzhang heard this, he couldn't help liking this clever tea boy. You can not only see at a glance that you mistook sesame for dirt, but also make yourself understand and save face. So he turned his anger into joy and ordered Yangba to be rewarded with 120 pieces of silver. From then on, Yangba became famous in Tianjin, and the tea business became more popular. What I want to say about sharing this story is: In contrast, another group of people, they can be called killers in the social field, often offend people without saying a few words, and thus lead to a lot of resistance in life. So what are the typical manifestations of this suicidal socialization? To sum up, there are about six kinds. I hope that if you have something, you will change it, and if you do not, you will be encouraged. Argue, like to refute others. When some people talk and chat, they are always very aggressive and like to sing a different tune. For example, you should drink less cola and eat less fried food, which is good for your health. He will retort that foreigners drink cola and eat hamburgers every day, and they are in good health. For example, if you say that A's acting is not bad, he will immediately ask you if he is one of the younger generation's idols, isn't B good? It's easy to make the chatter feel speechless, and I didn't say that B's acting is bad. The first manifestation of suicidal social interaction is liking. No matter what other people say, they habitually retort. If you say east, he will say west. If you say yes, he will definitely say bad. Uproar is not a well-founded debate, more often it is actually messing around. I believe that everyone has encountered such a lever, and do not want to associate with it. Like to find fault, like to negate others No one likes to be denied, which is the most basic social common sense, but some people just like to beat and negate others, and they can always pick out all kinds of faults. My friend bought a new house. One moment he said that other people's floor choices were not good, and the next he said that the property in this community was very bad. How did you remember to buy this kind of community? Her classmate wore a new dress to the party. when she met, she said that the color of her clothes was so tacky and that she really didn't know how to choose clothes. The second manifestation of suicidal social interaction is that you have a poisonous mouth, like to negate others, speak harshly, and look picky. In a word, no matter what you do, they can always pick out all kinds of faults and problems, and they can hardly hear a word of affirmation. In fact, no matter how good the relationship between friends is, you should pay attention to your discretion when speaking. Always hit each other in words, the relationship is bound to be rift. Praise others more, this is the master key to socializing. Be self-centered and only care about yourself When chatting, there is a very important reason why some people are unpopular, that is, they always like to cut off Hu and interrupt other people's topics. For example, if you want to talk about the unlucky things that have happened recently, as soon as you are ready to say, he takes over the conversation, and I am unlucky, and then Barabara tells a lot of things about himself. For example, when you talk to your friend about the recent ball game and the rise of the chat, he interrupts your chat and leads the conversation to the game you are playing. The third manifestation of suicidal social interaction is to be too self-centered, talking and doing things only for yourself, regardless of others. It is obvious that a person who does not take care of others, does not know how to take care of other people's feelings, and has only his own eyes, is very difficult to be respected by each other. Good social interaction is often based on respect. Judge and tell others what to do As the saying goes, do not persuade others to be good without suffering. There is no real empathy in this world. If you haven't personally experienced the pain of others, don't comment on other people's choices. In life, we often hear the following similar voices: Alas, you are in your thirties, if you don't hurry up, you really can't get married. Don't be so picky. If you don't go to a good state-owned enterprise and insist on starting your own business, you just haven't suffered. Now that the policy has been liberalized, people have given birth to three children, and you don't even want to have a second child. You can't just think about yourself, and don't just look at your eyes. The fourth manifestation of suicidal social interaction is the tendency to judge and judge others. Although we are in the same world, everyone's world is different. Most of the time, don't judge others easily, even out of kindness. Competitive and accustomed to speaking quickly In intimate relationships, we often hear such advice to boys: don't argue with girls, win the argument, but lose the relationship. In fact, no matter who you are talking to, friends, classmates, colleagues, parents, or leaders, you should have such a consciousness that you should not always want to win a quarrel with each other. The fifth manifestation of suicidal social interaction is that they are too competitive, like to overexert their tongues, and always want to press each other in words. But positive.As I just said, most of the time, although you win an argument, you are the loser, and you will lose your friendship and friends. When dealing with people, please know how to show weakness and learn to leave the sense of victory to each other, which is a kind of wisdom. Like to show off and show off a sense of superiority As the old saying goes, hitting people does not hit them in the face, and scolding people does not reveal their shortcomings. It means that no matter what you say or do, you should know how to save face for others. Even if you scold others, don't expose their shortcomings in public and sprinkle salt on the wound. But in real life, many people seem to like to put another knife on other people's wounds, never considering each other's feelings. When others are fat, he always jokes about their weight in public, and when others are lovelorn, he often makes fun of it. What is most objectionable is that he often makes these preparations in order to elevate himself, often to derogate others, and then he turns around and begins to show off. The sixth form of suicidal social interaction is showing off, feeling superior, and stepping on other people's wounds. Such a person is really annoying. The more such a person is, the less respect he will get from others. People will only think that this person is very clumsy, but not that he is very good. Really good people usually speak with great kindness. What is high EQ? In fact, behind all high EQ is kindness, that is to say, knowing how to think more about others and think from each other's point of view. If a person can always do this when he speaks, then he will often be able to speak wisely and be like a fish in the water in the social arena.
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