No matter how good you are with others, don't reveal your three secrets, it's not good for you!

ID: zxrsnet There is a question on Zhihu: what is the biggest social disaster? One highly praised answer hit the nail on the head: "talk to each other deeply, expose yourself completely in the eyes of others; without discretion, trade your privacy for a long relationship. In the world of adults, friendship comes and goes quickly. If you tell the secret to the wind, don't blame the wind for blowing it all over the forest. " If people get too close to each other, contradictions will come, and eventually feelings will be consumed. If people talk to each other endlessly, there will be more right and wrong, and they will eventually go their separate ways. In interpersonal communication, no matter how good the relationship is, don't reveal these three secrets, otherwise there will be a series of disasters. Don't mention the painful experiences of the past. Adam Smith mentioned this sentence in the Theory of moral sentiment: "No one in this world can really empathize with another person's pain. You have ten thousand arrows piercing your heart, and you are in agony, and it is only your business. " When you live to a certain age, you will find that this is really the case. In the scene of life, isolation is the norm. Laugh and the whole world laughs with you; weep and you weep alone. You can't ask others to understand your difficulties, and you can't expect everyone to understand your pain. Cruel as it is, this is the way it is. Like that poignant story: The little monkey was cut by a branch while looking for food, and the wound bled a lot. But it did not heal well, but kept revealing its wounds to others for comfort. Some people feel distressed when they see it, while others just feel funny when they see it. In this way, when he meets a person, he will open a wound. Over time, the scabbed wound was removed again and again, not only difficult to heal, but also almost lost his life because of infection. The writer Mo Yan is right: "Don't think that everyone in the world cares about you. Do you think everyone is staring at you? As a matter of fact, everyone has his own troubles, and no one cares about you. " When the dust is settled, every time it is mentioned, it only adds to the sadness. Human joys and sorrows are not the same, the most difficult days can only survive alone, the painful experience of the past can only be self-healing. It is better to rely on others than to rely on yourself; to wait for help, it is better to find a way out. The most transparent way of living in one's life, as Sanmao once wrote: What is the heart like? it is like a bewilderment, which spans thousands of miles, and there is no boat to cross people. There is nothing others can do to help but self-crossing. Superior living conditions, don't show off to others What is the most terrible aspect of human nature? Some people say it's jealousy. "malice" tells a deeply rooted story: Noguchi and Rigao have been classmates and close friends since childhood. They live on the same street, and when they were at school, Noguchi was often bullied by bullies, while Rigao was always by his side. After graduating from high school, the two rushed to a turning point in their lives and never intersected. Many years later, the two were reunited, and Rigao grew into a famous writer, but Noguchi was not happy. After learning about the recent situation of Nikko, Nonoguchi. Hatred took root in his heart, and although Nikko helped him find a new job, he could not hide his jealousy and resentment. While he was at ease with the increasing help of the recipient, he began to plan and finally killed Rigao. At the end of the story, Keigo Higano expresses the feelings of those jealous people: "I just hate you, hate you to realize my dream first, hate your superior life, I also hate my own cowardice, hate my own luck is not enough. I give you all my hatred for myself, and I use it all to hate you. " Being unscrupulous is the most terrible part of human nature and cannot be changed. Can not see that people around them are better than themselves, is the bottom of the malice, there is no way to avoid. The ancients said that "the gentleman is innocent, Huaibi is guilty" is precisely this reason. Psychologists have shown that people tend not to envy people who have nothing to do with them, but tend to envy people they know. Sometimes, inadvertently showing off, in addition to bring their own disaster, there is no good. Always believe in the idea that no one really wants you to have a good life. Except for your parents, relatives, and very few friends. There are always very few people in the world who are happy because you are doing well. For more people, asking about you is just to make sure you are worse off than they are. Money is not exposed, low-key life, is the best way to save themselves. If there is no definite result, don't announce it around As the old saying goes, there are four things a gentleman can't do. If a gentleman does not move rashly, he will have a way; if a gentleman does not talk in vain, his words will be reasonable; if a gentleman does not beg, he will be righteous; if a gentleman does not act in vain, he will be right in his deeds. To sum up, there are four words: be cautious in your words and deeds. Look before you leap is the highest level of self-discipline for an adult. I have seen too many such people, and their lives have been ruined by the sudden outburst of words. After completing the project, there were rumors that he was going to get a promotion and a raise, and before the company issued an announcement, he began to proudly announce it everywhere, and it was another colleague who got the promotion. In the eyes of the public, he instantly became a joke and was labelled as "taking himself too seriously". After hearsay about the private affairs of a friend's family, he immediately took it as a topic of gossip and listened to others. As a result, rumors spread all over the world, and people accused him of being unkind. Relatives' children need to find a relationship when they go to school, and he immediately promises to help. As a result, there is nothing he can do about it. In the end, he becomes the most unreliable one in the eyes of his family. Such a scene was staged in the job search show "it must be you": A post-90s job seeker who claims to know entrepreneurs such as Dong Mingzhu has been questioned by many bosses. So someone suggested that he call Dong Mingzhu on the spot to see how the other party would respond. But after the phone was dialed, there was no answer except for the busy tone, so he had to hang up. From the beginning full of confidence to introduce the social circle to the instant being hit in the face, all the embarrassment and unbearable others. Shakespeare said, "your tongue is like a fast horse. It runs so fast that it will run out of strength." About other people's uncertain things, do not judge casually, this is the most basic respect for being a person. Unpredictable results, don't go aroundTo say that this is the highest level of EQ in the world. The depth of the water is silent, and a man is silent. Silence is the best practice. ▽ Zhou Guoping describes a mode of getting along with each other in "quiet position": "sometimes I prefer to spend time with people who don't like to talk to people who are eloquent and eloquent. The feeling of 'you don't have to listen to nonsense, let alone force yourself to talk nonsense' makes people feel good. " It is the most comfortable state to get along with others, to be silent at the right time, to shut up properly, to be with yourself and others. Some words, others may not understand; some things, others do not want to listen. Only if you can keep your secret, can you call it a secret and live your life calmly. Their own life, their own crossing, can be regarded as free, in order to safely complete this journey. May you keep your mouth shut, keep your heart like a mirror, manage yourself, and have good feng shui. Share with you.

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