It really matters who you are with.
philosophy Life Network
as the old saying goes, "appreciation of a person begins with appearance, respects talent, matches character, lasts longer than kindness, and ends with character."
when people get along with others, they don't care about beauty and wealth, but in character.
the phase comes from the heart, and the product comes from the mouth.
A person's character will be reflected in his words.
for people with poor character, they are all these words, and they must not make deep acquaintances.
gossip about making a fuss
there is an old Chinese saying full of philosophy:
"turn a deaf ear to other people's faults, eyes do not regard people's shortcomings, and mouth does not talk about people's mistakes."
A man's tongue is both the best and the worst.
the more poor people are, the more they like to mess with others and create something out of nothing.
embellishment is their skill, and "outspoken" is their excuse.
they are used to standing on the commanding heights of morality, pretending to be messengers of justice to judge good people, and gloat and make a fuss just because they have nothing to do.
when some people are admitted to a university, TA despises that they go to a third-rate university.
when some people look good, TA speculates that they are deliberately dressed and exposed.
when someone becomes rich, TA argues that they have got ill-gotten gains.
use your own ideas to speculate on others and regard other people's hard-earned achievements as after-dinner gossip.
as the saying goes:
"if you don't understand, you shut up, because you never know what others have been through; if you do, you should shut up."
Zeng Guofan was an incorruptible official all his life. Even though he was in a high position, his family was very poor and often worried about the problem of food and clothing.
sometimes, his children will scramble for a piece of clothes, so that the neighbors around him are often used as jokes for gossip and become famous over time.
gossip spread all over the streets and alleys, and it became more and more outrageous, but Zeng Guofan refused to explain it any more, but hated these people from the bottom of his heart.
he has been an official for more than ten years, and he has always been secretive about the pursuit of shadows. it is precisely because of this firmness that he has created a miracle of officialdom that he has been promoted to ten grades in nine years, and has become a generation of famous officials.
if a person talks a lot about right and wrong, his heart will become muddy.
as Zeng Guofan wrote in his family letter: "if it is often said that it is wrong, it must be a non-human being."
when you are with people who gossip, you will be troubled by right and wrong all day long.
it is a person's highest self-cultivation to sit still and often think about his own mistakes and gossip.
as the ancients said, "A gentleman studies himself without virtue and resentment, while a villain has blamed others."
A good man never complains, because he knows that if he wants to make things better, he can only get better.
complaining is like a "plague", which not only infects you, but also has unimaginable consequences.
there is an unlucky camel who travels a long way in the hot desert, tired and thirsty, muttering as he walks.
one moment he complains that he can't enjoy the fat grass like cattle and sheep, and then he curses the sun like a fireball.
so he kicked forward angrily, only to step on the broken glass and cut the skin.
the anxious camel felt unlucky and kicked the fragments out angrily, but accidentally cut the soles of his feet and burst into blood.
the camel limped forward, and its rich blood attracted wolves and ants.
finally, the camel, known as the ship of the desert, fell in the desert.
after hearing the story, it is worth thinking deeply, because very often, we are not the same camel.
thinks that everything in the world is making things difficult, so he always complains about his unhappiness; he feels that the whole world is against him, so he complains about the unfairness of fate everywhere.
when you encounter a little bit of discomfort, you begin to be discouraged; in the face of a hint of frustration, you become depressed.
but little do you realize that the more you complain, the worse your life will be.
complaining about God and others can not solve any problems, but will only let their own state of mind collapse, step by step towards the abyss of sinking.
people who are used to complaining will not only harm themselves, but also infect others around them.
I like a poem by Pushkin very much:
if life deceives you, don't be sad, don't be impatient! Be calm in melancholy days: believe it, happy days will come!
staying away from complainers is the beginning of a person's excellence.
empty talk on paper
someone on Zhihu asked:
"what is the most important quality of being a man?"
there is a high praise answer: when something happens, you can rely on it, take responsibility for things, and honesty is the first priority.
I think so.
honesty and trustworthiness is an important quality in dealing with the world.
people with poor character often break their promises and go back on their promises.
in ancient times, a businessman in Jiyang unfortunately capsized when he was going out to cross the river. he immediately grabbed a piece of wood and shouted for help.Fortunately, a fisherman nearby swam over when he heard a cry for help.
the businessman said hurriedly, "I am the biggest millionaire in Jiyang City. Help me up and give you 100 taels of gold."
the fisherman helped the merchant to the shore, but the merchant turned his face and refused to admit it, giving only one or two pennies.
the fisherman was displeased and blamed the businessman for breaking his promise and going back on his word.
quotientHowever, the man said, "if you are a fisherman, how much money can you earn in your life, but it is not enough to get a silver or two?"
after hearing this, the fisherman had to row away.
who ever thought that many years later, the businessman sank again in the same place, he shouted: "as long as there is help, all needs will be granted."
when someone passed by and tried to rescue him, the fisherman saw and said, "he is the kind of man who doesn't keep his word. Go back on his word. Be careful!"At last, the businessman drowned.
it was accidental for the businessman to encounter the same fisherman when he capsized twice, but his bad rewards were to be expected.
when you are alive, you cannot stand without faith.
people who treat promises as empty talk and promises as jokes are doomed to have no friends and can't move an inch.
the Doctrine of the mean says: "the end of a thing that is sincere is nothing without sincerity. That is why honesty is the most precious thing for a gentleman.
being true to his word is a person's soul and the bottom line of doing things.
as the saying goes, "there is rain in heaven and disaster in man."
if you talk too much, you will naturally cause resentment. Being a man and being conceited will eventually lead to disaster.
A crab was swimming deep under the water. when the fisherman saw it knocked with a bamboo pole, the crab flew into a rage and shouted, "what kind of thing are you to offend me?"
the crab raised its front foot and held on to the bamboo pole tightly, and the fisherman easily raised the surface of the water.In the end, the crab died, but not because of the fisherman, it died of defiance. The same is true of being a man. Taking yourself too seriously is doomed to be a disaster.
there was a piece of news that caused heated discussion on the Internet.
because of the hot weather, a pregnant woman did not want to wait in line but wanted to give priority to seeing a doctor, so she parked her car at the emergency passage of the hospital.
after the security guard found out, let the female car owner move the car to avoid affecting the emergency rescue.
the female car owner scolded angrily: "I am pregnant. I have to wait in line in such hot weather. Can you afford to be responsible for the accident?" Do you know how much the car is? "
the quarrel between the two men led to the traffic police, but the female car owner still insisted on not moving the car, and even threatened: "I have no obligation to cooperate, do not believe you touch me to try?"
soon, the incident spread rapidly on the Internet, and the female car owner was not only scolded by netizens, but also punished accordingly.
how many people in the world, like this female car owner, are arrogant and end up ruining their careers.
if a person takes himself too seriously, he will become arrogant and arrogant, and will not take others seriously.
the saddest person in the world is to hide it with tiresome arrogance when he has no merit.
the sense of superiority is too strong, not only because of poor EQ, but also because of poor character.
Confucius taught the world: "living with a good human being is like entering the room of Zhilan, and if you don't hear its fragrance for a long time, you will become with it.
and poor human settlements, such as entering the restaurant of abalone, if you don't smell it for a long time, it will change with it. "
character is not only the foundation of a person, but also the hardest card.
it really matters who you are with.
, may you be your best friends for the rest of your life and be affectionate and not disappointed.