Marriage has never been a woman's destination, and a woman's destination is always her own.
you must still be angry when you read this letter.
when you came home suddenly last week, your eyes were red and swollen like a walnut. I knew there was something wrong with your marriage with Gangzi.
you said: because of the question of whether the child should go to the tutoring class, you had a few quarrels with your mother-in-law, and just started to beat you indiscriminately and told you to get out.
if I remember correctly, this is the fifth time you have cried in front of me like this. Last time, your mother-in-law complained that you went shopping too late and didn't cook. After a few contradictory words, you were slapped in the face by Gangzi. Last time, you bought a few more sets of clothes and were scolded by Gangzi as a loser.
this time, as usual, you asked your mother, "can I go back to that home?"
I didn't reply to you directly, because I know that in that situation, it's not good for you to say more. People can't make the right decision when they are emotional.
now, Mom wants to tell you what I think.
the man who hit you, you can't want
daughter, get a divorce. Don't go back to that house.
when a man starts hitting on you, your relationship is over.
remember the last time you quarreled, Gangzi slapped you in the face and you ran back to your mother's house.
afterwards, Gangzi tried every means to please you, admitting his mistake and asking for forgiveness. You see, he went home with him in a sincere manner, and at that time his mother was already very worried that there would be a second time.
A man's bottom line depends on how he treats women and children.
both women and children belong to socially vulnerable groups in terms of strength, and people who bully vulnerable groups often bully each other for a moment. Such men tend to have a two-sided personality, no bottom line and compassion.
Gangzi hit you in an emotional situation, no matter what the reason, this is not right, domestic violence is illegal.
remember, domestic violence is like having an affair, only 0 times and countless times. Once you choose to forgive easily, it means that you acquiesce in the fact that he can abuse you at will.
as emotion expert Tu Lei said: "
Why does domestic violence cycle?
because it works, it makes men feel that violence can solve the problem.
son, the man who beats you can never love again. This is a matter of principle. For the sake of your life, I advise you to stop the loss in time.
A man who is stupid and filial can't have it
you have been living with your mother-in-law since you got married, so conflicts and frictions are inevitable.
but if Gangzi indiscriminately stands with his mother against you, such a man is not worth your whole life.
in the past, when you were in love, you always said that Gangzi listened to you very much. At that time, I advised you to worry that a man without an independent mind was not good enough, but you vowed to refute him and said that he was filial.
but filial piety does not mean blind obedience; one can be filial, but not foolish.
Zengzi once asked Confucius, "is it filial piety if children obey their parents?"
Confucius replied, "if you blindly obey and plunge your parents into injustice (which also means unreasonable, unfair and immoral), how can this be called filial piety?"
I have heard you complain many times that Gangzi's "only mother is obedient". He has to report everything to his mother. He often talks about "what my mother said" and even tells his mother what you have said to her.
when there is a contradiction between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, Gang Zi is duty-bound to stand on his mother's side and accuse you of all kinds of wrongs. Not only did he not give full play to the adhesive role he should have as a son and husband, on the contrary, he became a shit stick between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law.
this is not filial piety, but foolish filial piety without an independent mind.
daughter, you should stay away from such mama's boy as soon as possible. At best, he is just a giant baby, enjoying your care while kidnapping you to become a slave to their family.
if parents love their children, they are far-reaching.
Children, parents are the people in the world who most want their children to be happy. Advising you to divorce is not an impulse, but the result of careful consideration. I hope you can grow up in this scar.
failure of marriage does not mean failure of life
"dare not divorce" is pathetic
when you grew up, you were never willing to reveal your worries to outsiders, always reporting the good news and bad news, and pretending to be happy.
in fact, my mother sees everything about you. My mother knows that you are saving face and doesn't want others to see that you are not doing well, so you always show your happiest side to everyone.
you say that you dare not divorce, fearing that your neighbors, relatives and friends will laugh at you and sympathize with you; you say that you do not want to be the first divorce precedent in our family, and you are afraid of the strange eyes around you; you also say that divorce will become a very poor woman, even if you earn more money, you will still fail.
Wanna shop stunning gowns simple bridal and show off your pulchritude? Easy to use and great value too.
but children, face cannot be eaten as a meal, life is your own, and your marriage is not to cater to secular ideas but to make yourself happy.
A woman's divorce is not pathetic at all, let alone a failure. No one can easily define a woman's life by the success or failure of her marriage.
Marriage is not all women have, and there are more ways to realize a woman's value.
inZhang Youyi, the first female bank president in Chinese history, had a failed marriage with Xu Zhimo, a romantic genius.
after the divorce, she taught herself German and took part in the university entrance examination, and successfully achieved a perfect transformation.
when she returned from her studies, she successively became a professor at Soochow University, vice president of Shanghai Women's Commercial savings Bank and general manager of Yunchang clothing Company.
Zhang Youyi counterattacked into a successful businesswoman from other people's after-dinner conversation and laughingstock, and even Xu Zhimo was impressed by her.
if an excellent woman unfortunately gains a failed marriage, she at least has an enviable career and an open life.
but for a mediocre woman whose marriage fails, she probably loses everything as if the sky collapses, and gains nothing but ridicule and sympathy. Only a counterattack can break back a game.
there is no uniform template for success, and no one has ever stipulated that once a woman's marriage fails, it means losing the whole game of life.
Marriage is not all women have. It is neither the end nor the end of your life. It is just one of the many choices in your life.
A failed marriage does not represent a failed life. It is sad to regard marriage as the only measure of a woman's success or failure in life.
son, you should remember that marriage is never a woman's destination, and a woman's destination is always her own. In this life, you can only do it on your own.
Mom told you a long time ago that money is very important. It gives us financial independence and personality independence at the same time.
both love and marriage are equal in strength, and it is difficult for people who have always had their palms to have their own dignity.
the more financially capable women are, the freer they are, and they have more autonomy in marriage. They don't have to leave because of money when they like someone, and they don't have to stay because of money when they don't love someone.
as Carnegie said, "
financially independent women, who have the ability to create happiness, do not need to please and rely on men. Marriage is just the icing on the cake for them.
son, if you choose a priority between making a living and making love, your mother advises you to make a living before making love, and never be a climbing Lingxiao flower.
May you become a stubborn and independent kapok, neither humble nor arrogant nor clinging to it, not only the courage to share the wind and rain, but also the spirit to share the neon mist.
be a man, if you can afford it, you should also be able to put it down
remember that day you cried hysterically: he is the man you have loved for five years, you have paid so much for him, you are not willing to give up, and you can't let go of this once unforgettable love.
I know you still love him, but he doesn't love you anymore, silly boy. Love is mutual, and a twisted melon is not sweet.
it is not only that he has violated the matter of principle, but also that there are big problems in your relationship.
as Gangzi's career gets bigger and bigger, he comes home later and later, and your communication becomes less and less, even to the point of relative silence, the contradiction between the dereliction of duty of the husband and the absence of the father in the family is very obvious.
when you think back to this year, do you have nothing in common? You don't talk, you don't communicate, you don't fight, you're as cold as a stranger, and the only connection is the children.
respect for each other for a long time will become as respectful as ice, and in the end, you will find that you don't have the same feelings for each other.
I have witnessed all your frustrations and no longer have the heart to make you humble, so I advise you to divorce, which is the best outcome at the moment.
you can't keep a man who doesn't love you, just like you can never wake a man who pretends to sleep.
Don't kidnap your life's happiness under the pretext of not letting go of your children, and don't grovel and curry favor just because you can't let go of your feelings.
what children need is a warm home, not a pair of estranged parents.
Love, like birth, old age, sickness and death, has a time limit, as a recently divorced chicken soup writer said: "
Marriage is a kind of brave, brave acceptance of love's birth, old age, illness and death, and bravely bid farewell to each other.
Marriage is like drinking water, knowing whether it is warm or cold. Since marriage has come to a "dead end", we might as well choose to leave bravely and let each other live.
if you love, please love deeply, if you don't love, let go. In the bitter stalemate in marriage, not only can not find the lost lover, but will hurt others and themselves, but also leave the irreparable shadow of childhood to the children.
son, your mother brought you into this world, not to make you tired by marriage, but to let you experience a colorful life and discover the beauty of the world.
Please still believe in love even if your marriage fails. Mother hopes that you, do not deny yourself, do not despise others, can hold the original heart, withstand hardships, withstand the wind and snow, but also harvest steady happiness.