You may not be unhappy, just mature.

one.

the guy I knew in high school is not like that.

he used to be childish, but cool.

his grades are so poor that he will carry his backpack when he is ready for school. When the teacher asked him, "what do you want to do?" he stood up and said, "I don't want to do anything. I just have more sense of security with my schoolbag."

every time the teacher asks a question, we will shout his name, and then when he gets up, we shout "so handsome". Slightly fat, he went into Conan mode, pretended to think seriously, held his glasses with his index finger, and then gave a handsome answer.

later he fell in love with a Japanese girls' group, AKB48. He even decided to eat only one bread a day, known as losing weight, in order to get a signed photo and CD of his favorite member. He is a man of perseverance, and in the end he really lost nearly twenty pounds.

you know, chasing stars in a science class seems to be a shameful thing. People not only don't understand your appreciation of idols, but also deliberately attack your idols to make fun of you.

of course, this kind of attack is not malicious, it's just for fun.

Do you want to buy the funky damit pang ninang sa kasal pictures and show off your body? Enjoy the combination of simplicity and utility.

but maybe it's because in his eyes, we are just a group of stupid and unpursuing human beings, so he doesn't mind our ridicule at all, and he tirelessly popularizes the girls' group knowledge and surrounding news with us.

I am also a strange person. While following others to laugh at him, I also write down these piecemeal and useless women's group knowledge as another way for me to understand the world.

one night before the college entrance examination, one of the roommates secretly brought a bottle of liquor to the dormitory and solemnly gathered everyone together, each carrying a toothbrushing cup to talk about their feelings before going their separate ways and their yearning for the future.

when it came to him, he said, "when I was in college, I must go to Japan to take a picture with Mayou."

maybe it's because other people have more realistic wishes of "I want to find a beautiful girlfriend" and "I want to make a lot of money", so he was the only one who got the most consistent wishes that night.

so his energy of "I don't care what you think of me, I just like it" was finally recognized before graduation.

the light on the balcony is very dim, but I can actually see a trace of envy for him in other people's eyes.

two.

but then after going to college, he got fat again, and I asked him what stimulation he had received.

he shook his head and said, "I don't love anymore."

I went to dinner with him and talked about their jobs in less than a few words. first he complained to me about how stupid his boss was, and then he said, "the ascending channel for our generation has been closed."

I wanted to ask him to see the girls' troupe in Guangzhou, but before he finished saying the word "girls' troupe", he scolded me about his former self.

"if I hadn't been poisoned by home culture and stared at animation and AKB every day, maybe my grades would have been better and my college would have been more useful, and now I wouldn't have to do this stupid job."

I questioned: "but the choice is in your hands, the feet are also on you, you can make changes."

he waved his hand: "it's no use. I've tried." I used to think that as long as I wanted to do something, I could get close to that goal through my own efforts. But like a person who has been swimming with a swimming ring, he has no idea that he has to use all his strength to float without the swimming ring. "

although he said "swimming", I could tell that he didn't think the world was an endless ocean, but a big muddy dye vat.

before I could answer, he continued, "I'm not like you, I can support myself on what I like. I'm not as smart or bold as you are."

when I heard him say this, I knew that the topic could not continue.

because once someone says this to me, it means he doesn't want to dig into the reason behind it at all. He doesn't even bother to ask "how did you do it?" he just makes a few absolutely correct conclusions that you can't refute.

so I would like to know what kind of dye vat it is that can make the young man who is holding a tooth-brushing cup drinking white wine say such discouraging words.

three.

but after a few glasses of wine, he no longer seemed to take care of my doubts and began to complain:

"well, you know, people like me go to a bad college and don't worry about food and clothing, and the house and car are ready. As long as I go to work obediently, I can get more than 4,000 yuan of pocket money every month, and as long as I don't offend my family, I can get married and have children in a few years, and then spend my whole life. "

I replied," but in the eyes of many people, you are already very happy. You have neither the pressure to survive nor the future to worry about. "

"but happiness and sadness are always bound together. The higher the threshold of your sadness, the higher the threshold of happiness."

he told me that when he was in college, he could not even recognize all 50 classmates in his class for four years. He either slept or played on the computer every day, and soaked in the library when he felt guilty.

but the bitch of time always leaves before him, and when he reacts to it, there are only a few certificates left.

four.

so all his unhappiness stems from the fact that his life is "like this": "this is the education", "this is the job", "no one will love", "this is the life".

"bullshit." I gave him a tut: "because nobody lives for no reason."That's it. "

I have heard others say that happiness actually comes from self-identity. There are only two ways for you to gain self-identity in modern society:

one is to use money to decorate yourself as a "successful youth" under secular standards. Tesla's iPhone trend card can't be left behind.

but it doesn't matter if you don't have money, because the second way is to build a wall around your spiritual world and concentrate on things that "everyone else thinks is wrong, but I think it's right," and then no longer taboo, and no longer care about the opinions of the outside world.

so his unhappiness stems from his unhidden "maturity" that always forces him to recognize reality, jumping out from time to time and telling himself, "come on, you can't do what you couldn't do before."

from this point of view, life is really a giant, because it can swallow up a man's childishness, and even he doesn't know when he has changed.

if you just live, you won't be naive, and then you won't be happy.

the terrible thing is that I, who live well in his eyes, actually feel more and more boring like him.