People who are cool and independent have suffered from interpersonal problems.
Lao Yan and Ah Guo quarreled over the girl they used to like.
Lao Yan and Ah Guo went to dinner the other day.
as soon as they entered the restaurant, they saw Lao Yan's favorite, she and her boyfriend sitting in the corner.
almost subconsciously, Lao Yan turned and left the restaurant in an instant. Ah said that the posture was very much like running away.
because they have been good friends for several years, A Guo knows the relationship between him and that girl, so he asks Lao Yan if he hasn't put it down yet.
this sentence suddenly blew up Lao Yan, who excitedly explained that he was just embarrassed.
in the face of this sudden excitement, A Guo was a little confused: "will you feel embarrassed but didn't put it down?" In fact, you don't have to pretend anything in front of me. I can understand. "
Lao Yan replied, "do you think you really know me?"
the corny lines are still powerful.
after this sentence was said, the whole table went cold in an instant.
neither of them said a word until the end of the meal. When saying goodbye, Lao Yan only said a whisper of good-bye.
just like running away in a restaurant, Lao Yan ran away quickly again.
"aren't you going to say something to Ah Guo?" I asked.
Lao Yan said, "that's it."
I mocked and said, "Wow, how chic".
I know that Lao Yan is a cool and independent person: he likes to eat alone, walk and travel alone, and he can get out of the lovelorn in two or three days, no matter what kind of trouble he or she has to solve.
I also deeply feel that he is a difficult person to deal with: he doesn't care about others, doesn't like to reply to other people's messages, doesn't say anything or post on moments when he's sad, and looks like a cool "I don't need anyone" all day.
and among so many people who have come into contact with him, only Ah Guo will ask him angrily why he always refuses to reply, and only she can read the sadness that Lao Yan felt when he didn't post his moments.
after the cold war with Ah Guo, Lao Yan really didn't seem to want to take the initiative to find her, nor did he show much sadness. He asked for leave, went for a ride alone, and began to do some cool things.
but at that moment I suddenly thought that independent Lao Yan was not cool at all.
because if a person can live a good life on his own, he won't want to make desperate preparations and sacrifices for any relationship.
until the other night, Lao Yan, who was still cycling in some unknown mountain, suddenly called me and asked me to comfort Ah Guo.
upon asking, Ah Guo posted a message on moments saying that his interview had been brushed.
at that moment, I was suddenly angry and funny: "didn't you say that's it?" Isn't it super cool? Why do you still care about her feelings? "
Lao Yan was speechless by me, so I continued to scold him: "Why don't you comfort her yourself?" She needs your comfort more. "
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there was a moment of silence on the other end of the phone before Lao Yan's voice came: "I don't think she needs my attention."
I never thought that someone as cool as Lao Yan would say such frustrating words because of a relationship.
at that moment, I suddenly found that Lao Yan didn't know how to care about people, but he didn't dare to care about people.
I called Ah Guo that night. Before I could remember to open my mouth, I heard A Guo ask me, "did Lao Yan ask you to call me?"
I was stupefied for a moment. I couldn't help scolding, "what are you two doing?" Obviously care about each other very much, why is one pretending to be cooler than the other? "
at this time, I suddenly realized that the sentence "if you care about me, you will come to me on your own initiative" has killed countless people, and it seems that too many people use this sentence to cover up their timidity.
A Guo told me that Lao Yan was too committed and serious in every relationship, and after the other person deeply hurt him, he began to become cooler and more independent.
"but this independence is really just the way he protects himself." Ah Guo sighed. "he doesn't dare to rely on anyone, nor does he dare to invest in a relationship."
go ahead, for fear that the other person doesn't care about you.
back down, and you're afraid you won't be convinced.
at that moment I was silent for a long time on the other end of the phone. The person I always thought was cool and independent turned out to be a patient who dared not move in interpersonal relationships.
what touched me most on that day was two words: "some people pursue freedom because they only dare to have freedom."
because human relationships are not completely controlled by one party, the risk of investing in a relationship is far greater than that of freedom.
being independent may seem like a cool decision, but it is actually the one with the lowest cost of harm.
and the second sentence is: "Don't become an old face."
I have written "the pain of single dogs is imaginary by couples" and "Don't expect love anymore". Even in articles like "how to meet someone I like", I keep telling you to know how to get along with yourself.
some people commented at the bottom of these articles that you must learn to love yourself before you can love others.
and now I find that the cooler I am, the more independent I am, and the more I love myself, the less I can fall in love with anyone.
I don't know if you are like this. Good night.