When was the last time you felt guilty?
recently, there is a popular saying in our editorial department: "won't your conscience hurt?" "
for example, when Zepeng goes to eat delicious food behind everyone's back, and the thorns receive more praise than everyone else, they will be accused of using this sentence.
although it is a joke, I really often ask myself if my conscience still has the ability to hurt.
six months ago, I went to Xiamen to attend my friend's graduation photo. Because I couldn't get back the high-speed train ticket, I had to gnash my teeth and spent more than 400 to call a ride back to Dongguan.
when I returned to Dongguan, I found that I was exhausted and I didn't have enough money to spend until next month. I was worrying about who to borrow money from.
then I suddenly realized that I hadn't clicked "confirm to get on the bus", which meant I hadn't paid the fare yet.
"more than 400 yuan is a lifesaver for me, and for the driver who drives an Audi, it won't hurt without it."
as I thought about it, I cancelled the order that had not yet been confirmed, and then deleted all contact information related to the driver.
I thought I could live a comfortable life with this straw, but I was wrong.
during that time, I began to get neurotic. While trying to convince myself that I hadn't made a big mistake, I kept denouncing myself as a shameless person, even afraid that my cell phone would ring and that it would be the voice of a driver or Didi customer service.
after that, I hitchhiked many times and paid on time, but every time I clicked the black payment button, I still thought of the appearance of the Xiamen driver and the ugly myself, even to this day.
I know this is a kind of punishment, and it takes a lifetime of torture to repay what I have done against my conscience.
but sometimes I am glad that I can still receive this punishment.
once I went shopping in the school supermarket. When I stood in line to check out, there was a boy with a bottle of Coke in his hand.
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when he was told "three colas" by his boss, he opened his mobile phone photo album, picked out one of the many Wechat screenshots showing WeChat Pay's record of 3 yuan, and raised his phone to pretend to scan the QR code on the wall.
the boy finished the whole process with an expressionless face, which took only a few seconds, and finally pointed the screenshot at the boss, let him take a look, and hurried away.
I seem to see myself half a year ago, but the only difference is that his face is so calm that there is no guilt or worry.
at that time, I didn't understand why it was as common to him as a glass of water, without any burden.
the last time I met a high school classmate when I went home, when I talked about their internships, he told me that he was working as an agent now, earning an average of more than 2w a month.
and the so-called agent is to attract customers for all kinds of usury app, and then draw up to 15% profit.
he told me proudly that college students who want to buy SLR phones and computers are best coaxed, as long as they keep drawing cakes for them, stimulate their desire to buy, magnify their advantage of rapid lending, and then weaken the interest risk. Even falsely report a lower interest rate, a business can be done quickly.
I asked him, "what if they can't afford it when the interest rolls up?"
he replied to me as if nothing had happened: "I'm only responsible for pulling people. If I can't afford it, it's their business to go naked or borrow it again."
in the end, he invited me to go to the "internship" with him, so that he didn't have to write hard every day.
I shook my head and smiled and said forget it. I can't pass my own level. I'll be miserable if I ruin someone else's life.
he spread his hand and said that if there is anything to do with it, he is not forcing them to come to get the money, even if it is destroyed, it is their own choice.
but I always feel that these "agents" must have played a part in so many tragedies about lending.
at this time, I suddenly realized that the "bad" things in this world have either become moles of conscience or paving stones without conscience.
there are many things, but there is no absolute standard to measure whether it is "good" or "bad".
for example, after Aunt Mimeng called someone out of school, some people may have a better life, and some people may have ruined their lives.
for example, my friend asked for a loan, some people used the money to do great things, and some people jumped from the eighth floor from too much debt.
it may even be a little thing like "do you want to have a showdown with the girl you don't like?"
at this time, what is used to determine whether something should be done is the threshold level in everyone's mind.
people with low thresholds tend to live more miserably, because their hearts are often stung and bled by their own guilt, and even things like "the other person changes too much money when shopping" can be uncomfortable for a while.
but in spite of this, I still wish I was a person with a lower threshold and a painful conscience.
I would rather have more pain in order to avoid accidentally hurting others, so that my mind will not be full of guilt when I am dying decades later.
when the editors pressed
had a meeting last week, Zepeng and they rejected my topic at first.
talk about the age, how to talk about conscience ah, so old-fashioned, who likes to see ah, the data is definitely not good.
but I insisted on writing him down, even though the amount of reading might be on my knees and the fee might be discounted.
because I think, in addition to everyday emotions, someone has to talk about these things.Of.
otherwise, people will just Care it less and less, and even think that people with low thresholds are idiots.
this article is written to tell young people with a low threshold:
there are a lot of people who stand with you and stick to something in their hearts.
be a guilty person with you.