Long time no see
"when will Zhiyuan post?"
"Why haven't you written for a long time?"
"what's wrong with you? Waiting for your text. "
this has probably become the private letter I am most afraid of seeing.
I haven't written for about three months since the New year.
I asked for two weeks off with thorns last Christmas because there were so many exams for medical students that they had no time to write. At the same time, I wanted to think about whether I was suitable for the job.
in the weeks before that, I had been unable to coordinate exams and writing, causing others to help clean up the mess.
after the exam, it happened to be a disorganized annual meeting, and the thorn asked me, "are you still writing?"
I said I would definitely write without thinking about it.
and then, about a month later, I finally sent an article to the thorns. Tell him I'm going to leave in a mess, and there's a reason to leave.
in fact, for a long time in the beginning, I didn't treat disorganized writing as a job, but enjoyed it all the time, enjoying the feeling of being in a disorganized group of people.
this feeling is also the driving force that supports my writing, almost the whole source of motivation.
the thorns have always asked us to clarify a few questions, "Why should I write?" Why do you want to join the mess? What do you want to get out of a mess? "
the first time I was asked, I couldn't answer. Because I don't really like the "writing" thing.
the reason why I am disorganized is very simple, because I like it, because I like it, so I want to be a member of disorganized, because after watching it, I am looking forward to a life like thorn eel whale Tong c, so I try to come.
and why to write, I actually thought of it a long time ago, but I never wanted to be sure. I was thinking that maybe writing is just a "tool" for me, a tool that only I can do a little bit, and then can keep me in a mess.
the thorns have been asking us not to write for the sake of "chaos", but I seem to have done so from the beginning, and I know that it is not good for me and for everyone.
I have calculated before that since I officially joined last September, I have sent out about ten articles in disorder, of which only three articles have been written independently, and the rest are either written by several people or solicited by readers' topics. I just need to write some of them.
anyone should remember that in the middle of November last year, he said to you in disarray, "We are going to change." It was probably since then that I began to realize that disorganization is actually a job that requires some "professionalism", not just enthusiasm.
I find that I can't strike a balance between studying medicine and writing manuscripts. I know very well that even if I put my heart and soul into one, I may not be able to do it well.
joined me in September and posted an article. I didn't have any of it in October. In November, I was just getting used to the disorganized rhythm, and the acceleration of the rhythm suddenly made me see a lot. In fact, my writing ability is far from enough. I don't know how to write a long article at all. All this time is supported by enthusiasm.
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so it took me a long time to make the decision to leave, and it took me a long time to tell everyone about my decision to leave, so long that a lot of people thought something had happened to me. Because I really don't want to give up, ah, the first time I met this group of people in this place, I thought that my future would have you, too.
remember when I said I was leaving, the thorn finally said,
"it doesn't matter, it's good, too." We reaped your good friend, and you also reaped us. "
Yeah, actually, I don't think I'm out of here. When I told my friends about me and chaos, they said that it was like listening to a love story, "if you like, you have to be together." it's just that life is not a love story. So when I found it inappropriate, I chose to step back and go back to be a friend. Go back and continue to be that brain-crippled fan who grabs comments every day.
I haven't written so much for a long time. Today, I mainly want to say to some people, "I'm fine, I'm fine, I'm still here."
Thank you. Good night.