I don't think anyone will like me either.

maybe it's because I've been single for too long, and my friends always like to ask me, "what kind of girls do you like?"

and my answer is always the same: "I want more."

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it's just that when they ask for specific requirements, I can't say what the rest of the requirements are except for "good-looking".

so he couldn't help going back: "Why are you asking so much?"

A friend who has read my article for a long time replied, "it's nothing. I just think you seem to resist falling in love."

froze for a moment.

A lot of friends around me laugh at me as a single dog, while others say that I always think about how to get out of a single, but he even thinks that I seem to be very resistant to falling in love.

and slowly I realized that what he said was right.

the resistance to falling in love began about a year and a half ago when I met her.

at that time, we would accompany her for a walk on the inner ring road every night, and after taking her back to the dormitory at 11:00 in the evening, we would continue to chat under the dormitory.

in order to have a few more conversations, I never take the initiative to say "it's late". And her memory is not very good, often wait until the horizon white light, suddenly enlightened and said: "Hey, it's dawn."

then smiled and asked me if I wanted to watch the sunrise.

this simple life of walking and chatting lasted for two or three months, when she joked: "I always feel that we have entered the old age ahead of time."

I inexplicably guessed that she liked me, but after confessing her love, she said, "falling in love will break up, and you can only be friends for a lifetime."

at that moment all my ingenuity was gone, and a flawed sentence left me powerless to refute it. I let go of my hand and smiled: "Ah, all right."

I can't figure out how much influence this sentence has on me.

it's just that later, after we didn't get along with each other, I always like to pat other people on the shoulder and say:

"it's good to be friends, fall in love, and break up sooner or later."

half a year ago, we got in touch again because of an accident.

at that time, I already felt good about myself, and I had been cool alone for a long time. So cool that I boldly keep telling people around me that I will never get married and intend to fall in love for the rest of my life.

she asked me curiously, "what if I want to marry you?"

having been cool for a long time, I suddenly blurted out, "then I will tie the knot."

first it was easy for me to give up being with her, and then it was easy for me to give up the idea of not getting married-I lost badly in front of someone for the first time.

and I feel very lucky, after all, most people don't have a chance to meet again.

I couldn't help writing a lot of articles about her that month, and I secretly told myself that I must cherish it more this time.

it's just that one day, she suddenly asked me, "if I have someone I like, should I tell you?" This time I didn't lose my mind and understood the meaning behind this sentence.

maybe she is psychologically prepared. When she showed her love in moments a few days later, I asked for a like with an expressionless face.

I thought "getting it back and losing it" would make me more miserable.

but surprisingly, I haven't been as obsessed in these months as I was a year and a half ago. I quickly forgot her and quickly devoted myself to my busy and passionate life.

I even began to boast to others that "one can live a tiger's life" and "love has nothing to look forward to" blabla.

until a few days ago, when I went to take graduation photos with Lao Yan, I ran into her and her boyfriend taking selfies around the corner.

at that time, my mind went blank and subconsciously turned around and walked away quickly.

Lao Yan overtook me from behind and said, "run so fast?" Didn't you say you didn't feel it before? "

I was silent and sighed.

I always feel super strong, and I keep taking myself as an example to comfort people who are lovelorn, telling them to "learn to enjoy a person's life."

but when I turned around and ran that day, I realized that

No matter how hot my life is now and how accustomed I am to living alone, the experience of that year and a half is always in my bones and affects every decision I make now.

finally.

I learned a new word called "defensive pessimism" a few days ago.

means to avoid disappointment and injury by lowering your expectations of something.

I came into contact with a lot of people, who began not to believe that they would have the good luck to meet the next love, and began to boast that a person could have a good life.

these people have had a very tiring experience.

to be honest, I still believe in love, just like at the end of the story, she is happy and happy with him.

it's just the end. Tired, I'm really too lazy to believe in my luck, get into the habit of not having any expectations, and begin to secretly feel that I won't meet people who like each other anymore.

after all, the thought of being with her did hurt me a little bit later.

good night.