Emotionally, everyone is an "ex-victim".
At least appreciate the sweet jokes that accompanied me that day.
everyone opened their mouth to tell their own unknown emotional stories, and each dug up their own "Zhang Zhiming" stories.
there are too many stories about readers that I can't remember clearly, but a sentence has been imprinted on my mind all the time:
"I don't know if he is a scumbag, but I don't want to call him a scumbag, let alone speak ill of him in front of so many people."
even though her story has nothing to do with me, I still feel warm.
I don't know since when, scolding the ex seems to be a kind of political correctness, and all kinds of official accounts like to resonate with the ex very much. in addition to the amount of reading, what is provoked is more emotion and tingling.
this is so sad.
not long ago, Xiaoyao's parents had a conflict, and finally her father took all his savings and fled the family, suspected of having an affair.
boyfriend Ah Yue chose to break up with her at that time.
when I looked at Xiaoyao's moments at that time, I always felt inexplicably depressed, because it was all about her insomnia at three o'clock in the morning, the pain of being left unattended when she was ill, those thoughtless thoughts about food and tea, and miserable complaints about the current situation.
although she has never mentioned a word bad about Ah Yue, outsiders can see that her boyfriend Ah Yue exacerbated her breakdown when she needed company most.
some people say that Ah Yue is a snob, others say that he falls into a well, and there are all kinds of bad words. In short, a scum man's hat is firmly fastened to Ah Yue's head.
when I met with Ah Yue later, I learned about another version of the story.
since the accident happened at home, Xiaoyao has been in a kind of anxiety, becoming paranoid and grumpy. Under the influence of her mother, she is also full of suspicion about all feelings, thinking that "men will cheat if they don't keep an eye on them."
"she will lose her temper inexplicably and check my post all the time. Even when my classmates of the opposite sex just come to ask me about my homework, she insists that I am having an affair with her and wants me to delete each other's Wechat to prove my innocence."
A Yue said that in those three months, nearly 50 friends of the opposite sex on his Wechat had been deleted, and there was no trust in that relationship, no matter how well he did, he was often suspected.
so A Yue chose to flee in a hurry and finally became what everyone called a "scum man".
the breakdown of a relationship is often a problem caused by two people.
but we always habitually feel that the discarded party is the victim, but we don't think about it. The so-called "scum man" may have other reasons.
on the night of separation, Ah Yue and Xiaoyao had a big quarrel, and hundreds of pages of love words on Wechat ended with mutual elimination and accusation.
later, when I was having dinner with Xiao Yao, I inadvertently mentioned Ah Yue. Unexpectedly, she interrupted me and said she hoped I would not mention that person again.
I ate a bit awkwardly and said, "you seem to hate him?"
Xiaoyao suddenly smiled, as if laughing at herself: "it's just a scum man. It's not worth my emotional waste."
I can't help talking again: "but last week, right here, you were happy to tell me how good he was to you, how tolerant he was, and how much he took care of your emotions. is that all fake?"
after saying this, she was silent for a while, then quickly changed the subject, looking a little flustered.
do you know? I have seen a lot of people fall into a strange circle after breaking up, one day they scold each other for scum, the other they excuse each other.
the reason for this is that the other person has brought them unique happiness.
it's just that how happy you are when you are together, how painful it will be when you break up. So many people, like Xiaoyao, seem to hate their guts, but as long as they mention the beauty of the past, they don't know what to do.
and I began to understand why Xiao Yao said that Ah Yue was a scumbag. She doesn't really feel scum, she just wants to forget each other's good through "hate" and "scold", and then forget him.
because only when the other person is a scumbag, it will not be a pity to give up on him.
Varying from from the daring to the demure, our gothic formal gowns plus size are surely your essentials. Pefect for formal affairs or an informal ceremonies.
Xiaoyao said that she later looked carefully at the chat records of the two people, and what she saw was the quarrel of the last night, and when she saw it, she was still very angry.
then she rowed up slowly.
Last week, he queued for three hours to buy his favorite tea because he was in a bad mood. Last month, he chatted with him for 126 minutes after midnight because of a family quarrel, even though he had to go to work the next day.
it wasn't until that moment that she remembered that Ah Yue had been trying to tolerate her willfulness and bad temper with patience she didn't realize.
but these things, because of the pain of breaking up, have been completely forgotten by myself.
that night, she suddenly sent a message to her moments in the middle of the night: "Thank you, and remember to have a good life." Ah Yue didn't say anything but asked for a like.
I remember that Huang Zhizhong recalled in the "Spicy Chicken ex-victims Mutual consolation meeting":
"I must have broken her heart at that time, but I didn't know what she hurt me in my emotional ledger, and what I hurt her was never recorded in the ledger."
We always say that a relationship can make people grow, but this "growth" means not only learning how to love, but also learning to truly "record".
some people use "scum" to record one
some people use "childish" to record a relationship,
some people use "what a pity" to record a relationship,
and I don't want to spray my ex as useless. Because I don't want to look back one day and suddenly find that the relationship I have given is a derogatory term from beginning to end.