I can't even remember your cell phone number.
I once had a very close friend-A Yi.
I have known her since birth.
when we grew up together, we were so good that we would go to each other's house for a short stay, or even take a bath and sleep together.
at that time she would say, "We will always be good friends, and in the future we will all be in our seventies and eighties, and we will hide under the table and gossip like old urchins."
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I will also answer seriously: "well, we will go on for the rest of our lives."
the reason why I suddenly mentioned her is that I watched Sunshine Sisters a few days ago.
in the movie, seven good friends agree that "if one person is bullied, the others will fight back together." Like Ah Xin and I, they swore that "the Sunshine Sisters will never part".
but in the end, until the rich and well-connected Chunhua died, the "Sunshine Sisters" no longer appeared neatly.
after watching the movie, there is only one thought in my mind:
it seems that as long as a good friend leaves, he will never come back.
at the age of wearing school uniforms, Yi and I were poor people with no money.
but on her birthday, she will give me mint-flavored Mentos with a small amount of pocket money, with four convenience stickers on it and say, "Happy Birthday, little friend."
and I will spend a lot of money on Christmas to buy fancy Christmas cards from the boutique and tell her "Merry Christmas".
later, because of the changes in my family, I moved.
We can only see each other two or three times a year, and our circles are getting bigger and bigger, and we are no longer just each other. It is only at that time that we still believe that we will be good friends for life.
We made an appointment to say "call often and keep in touch". Later, we also went shopping together a few times, but we still became more strangers.
but when on earth did we stop being as close as we used to be?
I can't think clearly, because the time is very vague.
Sunshine Sisters Amoy does not explain how the seven friends are estranged, from intimacy to strangers.
and the estrangement between me and Yi is because I made fewer phone calls? Is it still because of which birthday you forgot your best wishes? Or is it because I have new friends?
but we are like the vague blanks in the movie, and no one knows the answer.
but I still want to find out the answer.
it took me a long time to find a word to describe this kind of thing: forget.
my estrangement from her is not because of sudden amnesia after the impact of the skull, nor is it a resolute difference after an awkward situation, but in the final analysis, it is only because we each use those so-called "more memorable memories" in our hearts to squeeze out the friendship a little.
so when that very important friend falls from the Libra in her heart, she becomes unimportant.
when I figured this out, I wanted to call A Yi to find out what this was all about, but the moment I picked up my phone and typed the word "A Yi" in the address book column, I gave up.
because I found that I didn't save her phone number at all.
if you don't even save your phone, you can't be a good friend.
but I am still not convinced. Why do I forget a friend who used to be so important to me?
so I tried to remember when this "forgetfulness" came into being.
after the move, we were not involved in each other's growth, so much so that after a long time, we didn't even know that each other had changed.
the quiet and clever memory of Chinese, she has become a flamboyant personality. And I am no longer the wacky wit in her head.
after high school, we tried to go shopping together one weekend, but to be honest, it was a disaster.
at first we talked hard about topics we thought each other would like. I told her about the trend of the hottest TV series, and she told me about a good book she had read recently, only to find that neither side could get in touch with each other. We even tried to ask each other about our love life, but when we learned that neither of us had thought about it, we just talked about it to death.
I found that there is no intersection in our circle of friends, no overlap of interests and interests, and the only intersection is the memories of nearly ten years ago.
so the date had to be reduced to her telling an interesting story about her childhood, and then I added the details, and finally the two pretended to be happy to sing together.
maybe it's because the scene was so awkward that I forgot how we ended it in a hurry.
later, when my mother took me to Ayi's house as a guest, Ah Yi deliberately went to play with her other friends in order to avoid this embarrassment.
and when she stood at the door and said "I'm going out" the other day, her mother asked, "where are you going? why don't you play with your sister like you used to?"
We were embarrassed and sad at that moment.
that embarrassment states the fact that we who can't understand each other can't be as good as we used to be.
in fact, I can understand Yi's escape-it's not that we don't want to face old friends, but we're just afraid that in contact, when your or my embarrassment expands to a certain extent, the fact that we are trying to cover up the fact that "we can no longer know each other" is forced out.
therefore, we who choose to avoid this fact also choose not to meet and choose to be estranged.
actually, do you know what the saddest thing is?
even, I think of my old friends only when I see movies like mint Mentos, Christmas cards, and Sunshine Sisters.
because the habitual escape to the end only brings intermittent memories.
and I also want to comfort myself countless times, the original feelings are real enough; but still, countless times, can not help but feel sad, and even feel guilty. Because I think that the reason why this relationship weakens must be due to my own lack of initiative.
but it seems that with the increase of age, the frequency of this kind of "forgetting" seems to be increasing, and the gaps are becoming more and more frequent. So that, now I seem to have become a little indifferent.
although still reluctant to give up those good memories, I seem to be able to convince myself to accept this kind of "forgetfulness".
say to yourself, "well, that's it, anyway, human relationships can't be controlled by us," and then jump into the next friendship that is hard to last, and continue to pretend to be free and easy and live well.
although I occasionally see those previous tokens, I still think, "well, I'm really sorry."
good night, everyone.
good evening, everyone. I'm Zepeng. Someone has been saying backstage that they like disorganized bags and want to know where to buy them. So after our discussion, we decided to open a micro-store to sell, in addition to canvas bags, there are mobile phone cases, cups and pillows.
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